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These are my 20 most recent entries..
::Monday, July 27th, 2009::
9:41 pm
Silent Hill RPG continued again!

 

tomoyo_chan (10:35:28 PM): In the hallway, Rachel is rifling through her locker. The

 

interior is a mess, housing everything from arcane symbols to oddly shaped keys to boxes

 

of salt and broken pieces of chalk and all sorts of other odds and ends. And, of course, a

 

picture of herself and Michelle.

 

"But you'd have fun! Really, Rachel, you keep yourself too shut in. Maybe you'll even meet

 

someone. You need to live your life. It's what the Goddess would want," the girl from the

 

church says, standing next to the taller girl.

 

Rachel brushes back her purple streaked hair away from her glasses. "I'm fine, Katie. I

 

don't feel like going to the Church social."

Jack (10:40:28 PM): Amy glances to the pair as she walks past, "Hey Katie, Rachel."

 

she smiles soflty as she stops, tilting her head, seeing the picture of Michelle and Rachel,

 

kept her smile, dispite how bad she felt for Rachel in regards to her ex.

tomoyo_chan (10:44:47 PM): "Hey, Ames." Rachel looks back, rooting through her locker,

 

examining the different objects. She takes one key and not another, grabbing something

 

that looks like a nut cracker, a fresh piece of chalk, and a door handle.

 

Katie smiles pleasantly. "Hello, ma'am. I was just inviting Rachel to the social we're

 

having at the Church. You're welcome to come, too. I know you've been there recently with

 

Rachel."

Jack (11:10:04 PM): Amy smiles lightly to Rachel and nods to Katie, "Ahh, yes, we'd

 

been by there recently, um, when is this social?" she asks, tilting her head curiously,

 

looking over to Rachel watching her take the items she was, idly wondering just what she

 

was getting ready for.

tomoyo_chan (11:16:46 PM): Katie smiles brightly. "It's just an event to try to bring

 

everyone closer together. The White Claudia's in bloom and it's a time to celebrate. I

 

think you'd enjoy it. And try to get Rachel to come, okay? She's been so moody and

 

depressed for the longest time. I think she really needs to try to enjoy herself again."

 

She steps away, waving. "I hope you'll both come!" She hurries off out of sight.

Jack (11:27:41 PM): Amy blinks, watching the girl run off... "She's, an intresting

 

one, isn't she Rachel?" she asks, glancing to the one that had saved her soo many times

 

once more... she was tired, tired of this bullshitting a good mood, but in a way, she knew

 

it kept her grounded.

tomoyo_chan (11:33:38 PM): Rachel looks over, pulling up her backpack. "Katie? Yeah, she's

 

okay. She's sweet and bubbly. And she's one of the few people at the school who doesn't

 

think I'm a witch or a murderer. Or she doesn't care." She shrugs as she walks. "She's a

 

good kid. She's been trying to help me for a while. She thinks I'm still beating myself up

 

over Michelle."

Jack (11:40:51 PM): Amy walked with her for the moment, "On some level, you might

 

be." she says softly, "Of course, I could be totally over analizing."

tomoyo_chan (11:47:18 PM): Rachel smiles faintly. "Oh, I can see where she's coming from.

 

That I'm still torturing myself over whatever happened. That I'm not letting go. That I

 

need to just accept what happened and move forward. Learn my lesson and move on. Her

 

Church has tons of lessons about that." She shrugs. "Who knows. Maybe she's right. But

 

it's a lot easier said than done. I don't think I can. Not now, anyway."

Jack (11:58:05 PM): Amy smiles soflty, "Maybe she's right... yeah." she sighs, "Who

 

knows, you never know untill you try right, but I won't press the matter, we've both been

 

though quite a bit here, you more than me because you've been here longer, but we've still

 

experienced this hell together, so let's just forget this little bit of conversation hmm."

 

she rest's a hand on Rachel's shoulder.

tomoyo_chan (12:04:19 AM): Rachel nods. "Yeah, might as well." She pauses for a moment,

 

listening. Down the hall, it sounds like little scampering feet with the occasional bit of

 

rusty metal scraping across other rusty metal. She turns and starts heading back the

 

direction they came. She sighs. "Great. Now I'm going to be late for work, too. It's

 

almost like the town's punishing me for not going to the stupid Church social and making

 

out with the first girl I see."

Jack (12:10:01 AM): Amy sweatdrops but follows along, "And just what would happen

 

if I showed up and I was the first girl you saw?" she asks, smirking, "Anyway maybe you

 

should go... if only to distract yourself a bit."

tomoyo_chan (12:18:20 AM): Rachel raises an eyebrow and laughs, looking back. "Yeah, that

 

wouldn't totally traumatize Katie. Her teacher and her friend making out. We should invite

 

Janice over, too, just to make sure we've got all our bases covered. Though Jan still

 

thinks I'm obsessed with her." She opens a doorway to one of the club rooms. Inside,

 

people are painting in reds and crimsons that might be blood, macabre pictures. 'Students'

 

turn to look at the door at the same time, all grotesque, silhouetted figures, faceless

 

mockeries of students wearing tattered and dirty uniforms. Rachel closes the door and

 

keeps moving.

Jack (12:22:36 AM): Amy blinks, having glanced in, and simply waves... rubbing her

 

neck after, "Well, a little trama never hurt anyone." she says simi-scarcasticly,

 

"Anyway." she slipped a hand into her purse, opening the little hidden pocket and pulling

 

out her small pistol, a simple 9 mm. "The town sure does seem to love us, this weekend,

 

I'm going to preform an experiment." she glances over to Rachel, "I'm going to attempt to

 

leave, Janice wants to take me out for the weekend, and I accepted... figure I'll see what

 

works and what doesn't... if it works, I'm getting you out of here."

tomoyo_chan (12:28:49 AM): "Oh, to Ashfield?" Rachel walks away from the sound of the

 

figures coming towards them from down the hall, more 'students', wraiths whispering to

 

each other as they walk, shaking towards the two, moving like crude dolls. "Jan loves

 

Ashfield. She'll probably take you to the Jade Garden. She loves that place." She pushes up

 

her glasses, trailing her fingers over the wall as she walks. She steps inside to the room

 

where the swim team meets. "You taking her car or the bus?"

Jack (12:31:14 AM): She follows, "Mm, yeah Ashfield, and I'm pretty sure we're

 

taking her car." she says, ignoring the things behind them, doing as Rachel does, she

 

trusted the girl, because she was still alive, atlesat, so far as she knew she was, maybe

 

she wasn't, maybe this was all some weird dream... who knew, she really didn't care

 

anymore anyway... she was just doing her best for now, though, she did wonder if she could

 

figure out her own problem here at the very least.

tomoyo_chan (12:36:03 AM): As the creatures get closer, Rachel shoves the door closed,

 

etching out the Seal of Metatron slowly on the door. But before she finishes, they reach

 

the door, starting to slam it open, hands reaching. "Umm... Little help here..." She

 

grunts, trying to shove the door back closed as the students try to enter, fingers that

 

look like rust red metal where hands should be, clawing, faceless students in torn skirts

 

and sweaters whispering to themselves about killing the witch and eating her heart. One of

 

them grabs Amy's wrist, cold blades against her skin, looking up at her. "Help me..." the

 

creature begs. "Gotta get this door closed," Rachel says nervously.

Jack (12:39:34 AM): Amy raises the gun and fires into the face of the creature that

 

had grabbed her as she turns and slams her body hard agenst the door, working to get it

 

closed.

tomoyo_chan (12:47:22 AM): "...help... me..." the faceless creature gurgles from the hole

 

in its face, slumping to the floor as the door is closed shut. Metal claws rake against

 

the door, bodies trying to force it open. Blades begin to claw through the door as Rachel

 

scrawls the last of the Seal. And all is silent. Rachel wipes her brow. "Thanks."

Jack (12:49:13 AM): Amy nods softly, "No problem." she sighs, and looks down,

 

"They're wanting 'the witch' and I have a feeling, they're talking about you..." she

 

shakes her head, "I really hate when things get like this."

tomoyo_chan (12:58:21 AM): Rachel steps away from the door, walking over to the empty

 

pool. There's a door set into the floor of it. The whole room looks like it's been

 

deserted. She climbs down the ladder, walking over to the door set face down into the

 

floor. "You heard that, too? Weird. What did you see them as? Nice one in the face, too.

 

When she started begging for help, I thought you might listen." She digs in her backpack,

 

pulling out the door handle. "Hah! I knew this went somewhere." She sticks it into the

 

door, opening it up into a hole in the ground.

Jack (1:01:33 AM): Amy looked down, "I'd... thought of helping it, but second

 

thought it, it would probably want me to hand you over... and I couldn't do that, even if,

 

you are the reason for all of this, and I'm not saying you are but it is a possibility, 

 

still, I couldn't do that... even if it would fix everything."

Jack (1:02:30 AM): She followed Rachel, down into 'hell' atleast that's kinda how

 

it felt really. "You know, yeah it was a fairly good shot, but I didn't want to take it,

 

yet I felt I needed to, as for what I see... students, with red... rusty claws...

 

faceless."

tomoyo_chan (1:10:06 AM): "Huh... Weird," Rachel walks down the old, anciet steps, walking

 

through darkness, pulling out a flashlight to light the way. The walls give way on both

 

sides, the spiralling staircase seeming to be suspended over an endless void. Off in the

 

distance runs catwalks made of rusted metal and barbed wire. Figures walk across them,

 

some of them moving levers and valves. "So you see them as distant figures, demonic

 

versions of themselves. An abstract.” She pauses. “I see them as normal students."

Jack (1:12:15 AM): Amy's eyes went wide at that... and she bit her lip, saying

 

nothing... inside she wanted to throw up at that... oh god, had she really, no she saw the

 

claws... she felt the cold metal on her arm... no way that was a human..."I..interesting."

Jack (1:18:20 AM): She considers a moment, "And what do you see around us right

 

now?" she asks, curious.

tomoyo_chan (1:21:32 AM): "It's raining. But it's always raining when I'm in the

 

Otherworld. Because it was raining the night Michelle..." She shakes her head. "I see her

 

here, too. Or at least the creatures that look like her. The ones that beg and plead and

 

tease. Oh, there's her room." She points at a spot of metal grating floating in the air

 

far off to their right. Amy can see a mutilated figure in rags tied with barbed wire to a

 

stone table, two figures tightening and tightening the wire, blood dripping through the

 

grating and dripping into the void below. "I can see her bed from here. And she's talking

 

on the phone, looks like."

Jack (1:23:53 AM): She nods, "Be... glad you're seeing that and not what I'm

 

seeing." she says, staying close, "So... any idea where this heads?" she asks, glancing

 

around once more, always sure to keep close to Rachel.... her hand tightening on the

 

pistol in her grasp, as she used her other hand to rub at her eyes, trying to forget the

 

sight of that hole being blown in the monsters head as she'd pulled the trigger.

tomoyo_chan (1:31:36 AM): Rachel gives a wry smile. "That depends entirely on your

 

definition of hell, doesn't it? You see things that cut deep into you. I see things that

 

cut deep into me. Honestly, I'd rather see anything but Michelle's room." She sighs, adjusting

 

her glasses. "And Jan's probably sure I'll freak out and try to kill her next. Probably

 

why she makes sure I don't know anything about her dating life." She shakes her head.

 

"Nope. But I know it's gotta go somewhere. Better than staying there and waiting to get my

 

heart ripped out by those things." From further off, what looks like a giant eye seems to

 

be watching them intently.

tomoyo_chan (5:10:55 PM): The long, winding descent through hell finally reaches it's end

 

in a teenage girl's room. A red haired girl sits on a plush bed filled with

 

stuffed animals, wearing black and pink lacy lingerie. "Hi, Rachel," Michelle purrs.

 

"Fuck off, Michelle. I'm not in the mood," Rachel replies, trying to ignore the girl as she

 

searches the room for the way out.

Jack (5:17:32 PM): Amy blinked, as they came to the room, looking around, her eyes

 

falling on the 'girl' she glanced to Rachel, then back to 'Michelle' not really sure what to

 

do.

tomoyo_chan (5:22:44 PM): "C'mon, Rachel, don't you want to play? I missed you so much,"

 

Michelle slides out of bed, wrapping her arms around Rachel's waist from behind, nuzzling her

 

ear.

 

Rachel visibly tenses, heart pounding. "Get off, Michelle," she says, her voice shaky, digging

 

through the closet.

 

"C'mon, Rach... Please? Just for a bit? I won't tell anyone. Just like when we were kids.

 

Just for a little bit..." She kisses the back of Rachel's neck.

 

Rachel's hands squeeze into the clothes she's digging through, trying to think.

Jack (5:26:42 PM): Amy looked to Rachel and Michelle, reaching out slightly, resting a

 

hand on Michelle's shoulder, "Michelle... she doesn't deserve this." she says softly, "Let her be,

 

if only this once." she says her voice is gentle, "The more you do this, the worse she

 

ends up pushing you away, it's time to move on."

tomoyo_chan (5:29:59 PM): "But Rachel's the one who won't let go." Michelle sighs, sauntering

 

back over to the bed, flopping onto it. "I guess if you really don't want to, Rachel...

 

it’s okay. Kyle will be happy to."

 

Rachel's back to all this, she shudders, digging through the closet.

 

"Oh, Kyle, you're so cute," Michelle coos, the boy climbing onto the bed with the wavy redheaded

girl.

Jack (5:33:50 PM): Amy moves foward, not sure what else to do, she slips her arms

 

around Rachel, "Let it go, don't let this get to you, you know it's what it wants, so

 

ignore it... I don't know what I can do to help other than to try to help you ignore... so

 

I'm here Rachel, and I'll help you however I can."

tomoyo_chan (5:37:06 PM): Rachel shakes in Amy's arms, making choked sob noises.

 

"I never loved you, Rachel. You were just my friend and I didn't know what to say. I

 

wanted to make you happy. But I'm just not that kind of girl. I want a cute boyfriend,"

 

Michelle explains sadly. "But... Oh! Kyle, you're so big," she squeaks.

 

Rachel pulls away from Amy, yanking the pistol out of her teacher's hand. Standing near

 

the bed, she screams, firing round after round into the two until the clip is empty. Her

 

finger keeps pulling at the trigger long after it's empty, breathing raggedly.

Jack (5:40:23 PM): Amy's eyes go wide, "RACHEL!" she turns watching as the girl

 

fires off the entire clip, 7 rounds, more than enough, she moved foward, her fingers

 

moving over Rachel's, "Put it down Rachel, it's over, let the gun go, let it all go." she

 

says softly, still behind her, her voice shaken, but she was trying to be the voice of

 

reason, damn it she should have kept a better hold on that pistol... she sighed, and

 

leaned agenst Rachel gently, "That's... what you've always been afraid to hear from her,

 

wasn't it?" she asks softly, "The words that hurt the most."

tomoyo_chan (5:42:22 PM): Rachel shudders, her cheeks wet. She pushes her glasses back up

 

with a shaking finger. "Let's..." she tries to say, her voice broken. She swallows, trying

 

to get a hold of herself. "Let's just get out of here. It's... It's not important."

Jack (5:45:51 PM): Amy nods gently, "We can't keep dodging this Rachel, and you

 

know that... we'll move foward... we'll get out of here, but, it IS important, and I can't

 

let you keep ducking the subject anymore, not after this." she gently takes the spent

 

weapon from her hands, and expells the clip into her purse, clearing the action and

 

slipping it back into the hidden pocket. "Let's go."

tomoyo_chan (5:49:40 PM): Rachel takes a deep breath, steadying herself. "Can't keep

 

ducking what subject? You already know about as much as I do about the situation." She

 

heads back to the closer, yanking the clothes out, revealing a door in the back. She digs

 

through her backpack, pulling out a key and slipping it into the lock. "Perfect."

Jack (5:54:02 PM): Amy's eyes narrowed, "Oh don't give me that Rachel, you just

 

blew away your ex and her 'boyfriend' and I use that lightly, then you said none of it was

 

important, bullshit it's not important, and you're keeping information back, you've been

 

playing this by your rules for how long, sure you're still alive, but you haven't come to

 

terms with any of it... ever think that maybe, just maybe, that's why you're stuck here?!"

 

she asks, her voice had risen, and she hadn't ment for it too, but she felt like Rachel

 

didn't understand why she was pressing for information, "God I know you don't want to deal

 

with it, hell I wouldn't want to either, but you NEED to, or else this shit's going to

 

keep happening, and happening, untill finally, one day, you will be dead... and I don't

 

want to see that happen.

Jack (5:54:19 PM): " she looks down, "You're too good of a person to see that

 

happen to, no matter what you tell yourself."

tomoyo_chan (5:59:06 PM): Rachel doesn't look back, turning the doorknob. "Maybe I deserve

 

to be here. Maybe the way out is coming to terms with it. But I can't. Ever wonder why I

 

don't try too hard to escape the town? You don't know why you're here. I do. And I can't

 

just let go of that. Either I killed her or she's living in Brahms and I almost killed

 

her. In either case, it's not really something I want to accept. Hell, look what happened

 

when I tried to find someone else. Jan won't even talk to me anymore." She slumps

 

against the door for a long moment. "I don't have a reason to leave." She opens the door.

Jack (6:02:14 PM): Amy blinks, "You have, absolutely no reason to leave, ok so you

 

hurt her, either way, you know that much, and yeah, it was a bad thing, it was something

 

that you shouldn't have done, but we all do things we're not proud of and shouldn't do,

 

regardless of that, we need to beable to come to terms with those things, atleast in some

 

way, you know why you're here, and you don't see me faulting you for what happened, sure

 

it was a bad thing that happened, but if she is alive, she's alive, great, maybe, just

 

maybe, one day, you two can reconsile, untill then you have to be alive, and you have to

 

get out of here." she says, "Rachel, please, just listen to me on this one, I don't want

 

to see you get hurt by this place."

tomoyo_chan (6:06:28 PM): Rachel closes her eyes. "And yeah, maybe that is the way out of

 

here. Whether the town is haunted or if I am still in Brookhaven Mental Institute,

 

accepting what happened and moving on would be the best way to deal with it. And maybe

 

this is just another talk I'm having with one of the doctors. But I can't. I tried, with

 

Jan, and that just fell apart, too. I can't..." She swallows, shaking her head. "It's what

 

Katie keeps pushing for, too." She sighs,s tepping through the door into Amy's house.

 

"We'll see. Maybe I'll start trying. But for now, I'm late for work."

Jack (6:15:30 PM): Amy just nods, and sighs. "Maybe, just... promise me, before you

 

head to work, promise me that you'll give this a try, and so things fell apart with Jan,

 

you can't just force something like that, and yeah, Katie does seem to want the best for

 

you, I think... there are a few of us that do... just... come by after work alright." she

 

sighs lightly, looking around her house, supprised she ended up here."

tomoyo_chan (6:20:59 PM): Rachel sighs, running a hand through her hair. "I'll see if the

 

town lets me. Good luck with everything." Obviously still troubled about the meeting with

 

Michelle, she slips out of the house. The house itself is quiet, homey. It looks just as it

 

did when she left it. A little house near the lake.

9:03 pm
Silent Hill Continued

More of the Silent Hill RPG. I like getting to play Rachel a lot. ^^ 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tomoyo_chan: The first day of classes have gone fairly well so far. The students were all

 

fairly nice an attentive, a change from a bigger city class. They jump in at questions and

 

seem genuinely interested in their new teacher.

Jack: Amy smiled happily, the class was a smart bunch, that was good...

 

she smoothed down her skirt a bit, "Very good class, tomorow we'll began learning about

 

Fudal Era Japan, including the mythology, and a few of the tactics used durring that time,

 

now, I want everyone to read chapter 34 tonight, as that WILL be covered on the test this

 

friday."

tomoyo_chan: Not so much as a single groan escapes the class as they get up and begin

 

packing up to leave. One of the students walks over to Amy's desk. She has shoulder length

 

red hair and freckles. "So how is everything, Ms. Faythe? Are you enjoying the town?"

Jack: Amy nods, not letting on to that she'd experienced the... darker

 

side of Silent Hill... "Yes, it's quite a nice town, and lots of wonderful people here

 

too." she says with a smile, "I hope you enjoy having me as a teacher."

tomoyo_chan: The redhead smiles, braces showing as she nods. "Oh, definitely! It's fun to

 

have a teacher from out of town. It's kind of exciting. Plus you really seem to love the

 

material, which is great." She chews on her lip for a moment. "Umm.. You really should be

 

careful around Rachel, though. She's kind of... obsessive. I've known her since the second

 

grade. She fixates on things. I'm just kinda worried she'll do the same thing with you."

Jack: Amy blinks, "Thanks for the warning." She said with a smile, "But

 

she is one of the first people I met getting here, I'll give her some time, still I'll

 

remember what you said." she smiled, "Now you'd better get going before you're late to

 

your next class." thankfully, this peroid would be her free peroid... so she could prepair

 

between classes

tomoyo_chan: By now, the rest of the class are gone. The girl holds her books to her

 

chest. "Yeah, but still... Her girlfriend left her for a boy at the school. People still

 

think Rachel killed her. They found Rachel with blood on her and wearing the necklace she

 

gave her girlfriend. And they never found Michelle's body. Rachel spent the next year in

 

the Brookhaven Mental Hospital downtown. She's... Just be careful, okay?"

Jack: Amy blinks, murdered her girlfriend... that's possible she

 

supposed, still, "I'll be careful." her smile had faltered a bit... and she titled her

 

head slightly in consideration, slumping back into the chair, she actually kinda liked

 

Rachel too, still this was just a theory, and she'd never been one to base a decision on

 

pure theory... she'd hear Rachel's side of the story some time,

tomoyo_chan: "All right." The redhead tries to smile again before walking out of the room,

 

leaving Amy to her thoughts.

Jack: Amy sat back, picking up a pencile, she began twirling it though

 

her fingers, considering what the girl had said, blood on her, wearing the necklace she'd

 

given her ex... went to the mental hospital... she looked up to the clock... then back

 

down to the pencile... she wanted to just bring it up, but she didn't want Rachel to

 

become uncomfortable around her, this was going to take some work, mainly because if she

 

was dragged into Other world again, she'd need someone she could trust, and right now...

 

other than the girl at the church... she only had Rachel...

tomoyo_chan: Outside, it has grown foggy once more. The shape of a man appears to be

 

watering the bushes outside. The groundskeeper, most likely. A dull red glow appears in

 

the fog behind him, heading towards the man.

Jack: Amy was staring at the clock... she tilted her head, listening,

 

it had gotten quiet again... she slipped to her feet... her shoes, not heals anymore,

 

clicked a bit as she walked... she looked around, peeking outside of her room...

tomoyo_chan: The hallway is empty except for one figure. Rachel is sitting against the

 

wall, playing a game again. She looks up, brushing her hair back. “Oh, hey, you’re done.

 

How was class?”

Jack: Amy smiles softly, "Quite well, I'm on my preperation peroid."

 

she glances around, whispering, "It changed again, didn't it?" she asked curiously,

 

figuring Rachel would know if it had or not...the girl having been going though it for a

 

while she figured.

tomoyo_chan: Rachel puts her game in her backpack, pulling it up. “Yeah, it started

 

changing after the kids left your class. It’s easier for it if you’re on your own or with

 

just a few people.” She looks at her watch. “It better change back soon so I can get to

 

work.”

Jack: Amy nodded, grumbling a bit, "I could almost feel it... there's

 

like.. a palpable silence." she says shivering a bit, rubbing her arms... she glanced

 

down, "I agree though, let's hope it let's up soon."

tomoyo_chan: “Yeah, it’s really hard to check in at work when you can’t find anybody but

 

nightmarish demons.” She walks towards the front doors. Her cell phone rings, but she

 

ignores it.

Jack: Amy blinks, "You're not going to answer?" she asks... following

 

behind, she figured at the very least, if she was with Rachel, things would be fine.

tomoyo_chan: Rachel grabs the phone, checking the caller ID. “Nope.” She puts the phone

 

back in her pocket. “Totally not worth it.” She walks through the fog out near the parking

 

lot.

Jack: Amy blinks, shrugging it off, staying behind, "So, where are you

 

heading... because no offence, I'm not sticking around that school without someone close

 

by."

tomoyo_chan: “Yeah, I know what you mean. The school is never a good place to hang out

 

when everything gets weird. The elementary school is worse, though.” She stops near the

 

few remaining cars. The left half of the groundskeeper’s body appears to be lying in the

 

bushes. “Huh. So I guess Mr. Jacobson really was molesting kids. Betcha everybody thinks

 

it was just an accident when they find him tomorrow.”

Jack: Amy backed up, eyes wide... she shivered... ok, it was one thing

 

that the place would get weird, another that people would end up dead, still, if he was

 

molesting kids... good way for him to go... still, "God..." she uttered... looking away

 

after a moment, trying to get herself together.

tomoyo_chan: Rachel begins walking up the street, turning a radio on. “So have you ever

 

been to the amusement park? We get people from all over the state heading down there. It

 

and Lake Toluca are two of our biggest tourist attractions.”

Jack: She shakes her head, "No, I was going to go by this weekend

 

actually." she said, her eyes wide, watching for anything that could be a threat... she

 

wasn't a fighter, far from it, but she could protect herself if she had to... then again,

 

with these things... she had no idea if she'd even beable to do anything agenst them...

 

"The lake sounds nice too." she said, looking over to Rachel... she wanted to ask, "You

 

know... I was warned today, to stay away from you." she said gently...

tomoyo_chan: “You should. It’s not bad. I’ll try to spot you if you stop by. Michelle used

 

to visit me up at the amusement park all the time. That was back before they had me

 

running around in that stupid rabbit costume, though.” She takes a turn after the street

 

they were walking down leads to a collapsed area. “Oh? What was it this time? ‘Rachel’s a

 

witch! She drew occult symbols all over a stall in the bathroom!’ or ‘Rachel went into a

 

supply closet and disappeared!’? Then there’s the insane asylum thing.”

Jack: She sighed softly, "Well, it... delt with the Asylum." she said,

 

looking down, "Look, I'm the kind that makes decisions after I've heard both sides of the

 

story, and I'm trusting that you'll tell me when you're ready for me to know, I won't push

 

anything." she said.

tomoyo_chan: “Yeah, I spent seven months in Brookhaven. I hate that place. It’s hard to

 

convince them you’re sane when you keep seeing creepy nurses and your dead girlfriend

 

constantly haunting you. But I finally managed to seem sane enough for them to let me out,

 

so..” She shrugs.

Jack: She nods, "I was told that the reason you were put in there was

 

because you were found with blood on you, and a pendent you'd given to your Girlfriend

 

around your neck... they suppected that you killed her, didn't they?"

tomoyo_chan: Rachel rubs the bridge of her nose, sighing. “Yeah, I remember. Michelle

 

freaked out about being gay and left me for a guy in our class. I freaked out when I found

 

out about it, there was a huge screaming match at school, everyone found out we’d been

 

dating, she told me to go to hell because everyone knew she’d been with a girl now, I hit

 

her boyfriend in the face with a lunch tray. Then she disappeared, they found me wandering

 

around at night talking about all sorts of crazy stuff with blood on me and the pendant

 

I’d given her. But no body and me talking about demons and stairways to hell and things,

 

so they locked me up in Brookhaven for a while.” She takes another path down an alley away

 

from the rising sound of static on her radio.

Jack: Amy's eyes widened, "Oh god, I..I'm sorry to bring it up." she

 

said, shaking her head, no body, and she was bloody, she'd have to find out if Rachel did

 

it at one time or another, but now wasn't that time, so far as she was concerned, "That

 

raido, it makes that noise when they get close right?" she'd studyed a bit of Paranormal

 

research...and was forming a theory.

tomoyo_chan: Rachel shrugs. “I loved Michelle. She meant everything to me. We were gonna

 

move to Ashfield together in a few years. That’s why I worked so much, so we’d have the

 

money for it as soon as we graduate.” She takes a deep breath before moving on. “Yeah, the

 

radio acts up the closer they get. It’s one of those things you pick up on if you spend

 

enough time around here.”

Jack: She nods, deciding to shift the subject away from Michelle, "Hmm,

 

if they affect raido's like that, then they emit an EM field... I used to do paranromal

 

research too, on a small scale, evp's and EM detectors... I'll have to test one of my

 

theories some time... anyway the raido works fine at the moment." she considers a bit,

 

"This just keeps getting stranger though... I mean... why us?" she asks, tilting her head,

 

"We seem to be in pretty much the same version of otherworld when it happens."

tomoyo_chan: “Not necessarily. What you see and what I see are probably a bit different.

 

So we’re seeign some of the same general stuff, but I bet the specifics are different.

 

Especially with the types of monsters and the basic look of the world around us and all.

 

Unless you’re just getting dragged along for the ride, but that usually only happens when

 

there’s a focal point. Like Alessa Gillespie years ago or what happened up in Shepherd’s

 

Glen a few months back when their baby killing pact got all fucked up.” She walks along

 

the road, Toluca Lake on their right. As they pass an abandoned looking car, it looks like

 

a baby is inside, still wriggling around in a car seat.

tomoyo_chan: The windows are grimy, making it hard to make out exactly.

Jack: Amy eyes the 'baby', deciding to take a slightly closer look, she

 

moves closer to the car, "Hey... you see this?" she asks... pointing to the car, "Looks

 

like there's a baby in there."

tomoyo_chan: The baby shifts in the seat, head turning towards Amy, little arm reaching

 

out. “Oh, you see a baby in there?” Rachel asks, tilting her head to the side. “I’d avoid

 

it, regardless.”

Jack: Amy blinks, "Wait... you don't see it?" she asks curiously...

 

though she's more than suspicous about the baby... why would it be reaching for her...

 

could it be... no, no she'd gotten over that... way back.

tomoyo_chan: “I see something different in the car, yeah. That isn’t a baby. And for me

 

it’s raining. But it’s almost always raining.” She keeps walking down the road.

Jack: Amy blinked, following behind Rachel... ok strange, "Ok, it's

 

raining for you, for me it's just foggy, at least right now." she said, "Strange...

 

really, how the same event can play out so differently for each of us."

tomoyo_chan: “Yeah, it’s really weird. I think it’s part of why people just think you’re

 

insane. Because it’s different for everyone, so it’s not like you get a lot of people

 

agreeing on the same story. And most people see Silent Hill as their perfect little

 

getaway anyway.” Glass shatters from the car behind them.

Jack: Amy slips closer, not looking back, she had a feeling, that if

 

she looked back, she wouldn't beable to handle what she saw, she took a shakey breath,

 

"Let's move... faster." she said... glancing over to Rachel, "I'm hoping you heard that

 

shattering glass too."

tomoyo_chan: “Oh, totally. Whatever was in the car just broke out.” Rachel begins to move

 

faster along the road, the occasional car left parked at odd angles on the street, odd

 

shadows walking near the trees or in the distance along the road. Out on the lake, a small

 

rowboat can be seen. Two figures lift up what looks to be a large sack, something still

 

moving inside of it as they toss it over the side and into the cold waters of the lake.

Jack: Amy closed her eyes for a second, opening them afterword to fall

 

on Rachel... "I'm not sure I can keep this up." she says gently, "I'm pretty strong willed

 

but this is crazy stuff..."

tomoyo_chan: Rachel shrugs. “That’s why I ended up in Brookhaven. That’s what happens when

 

you aren’t strong enough to deal with it. You collapse in on yourself and end up in a

 

padded room. If it helps any, I guess you get used to it. It’s still the town I grew up

 

in. It just occasionally becomes Hell.” Something comes out of the water, clambering onto

 

the small boat in the distance. The figures start attacking it with oars, but it begins to

 

tear them apart. When the men have quit struggling, it leaps back into the cold, dark

 

waters, leaving the boat floating listlessly.

Jack: Amy nods, taking a breath, "Yeah well, as soon as it turns into

 

something other than hell, I'll be happy." she says, "Besides, I need to get back to

 

work." she wanted to look back behind them, back towards that car, back towards the lake,

 

but her mind wouldn't let her, she knew right now, she couldn't do that, she glanced out

 

towards that boat... shivering, "Did you see what happened to the boat?" she asked, it

 

helped if she did...

tomoyo_chan: “Same here. I have a shift starting in fifteen minutes and I can’t exactly do

 

that if the only attendees are going to be demons.” She looks out at the lake, seeing the

 

empty boat in the waves. “No, I didn’t see what happened to it. Probably came unmoored or

 

something.” Amy’s cell begins to ring as they head up the road.

Jack: She stays close... looking around now, hardly blinking, "Ok, same

 

call?" she asked curiously... having an idea,"If it is, I could take it... if you don't

 

want to answer it." she was mildly curious as to what would happen if she did answer.

tomoyo_chan: Rachel sighs. “Yeah, it’s probably Michelle calling you. She does that

 

sometimes, calls people and asks for me. Because she knows I rarely answer my cell phone

 

these days.”

Jack: Amy blinks, realising it was her ringer for people she didn't

 

know... she pulled the phone out, checking the caller ID.

tomoyo_chan: Michelle Collins, the ID reads as the phone rings in Amy’s hand.

Jack: Amy blinks, "You're right, Michelle Collins." she says glancing

 

around, before pressing the little green key that answered the phone, bringing it to her

 

ear, "Hello."

tomoyo_chan: “Hi!” a perky voice says on the other end. “Is this Ms. Faythe? I heard you

 

were with Rachel. Is she okay? She’s not picking up her phone. I’m her... friend. My

 

name’s Michelle.”

Jack: Amy blinks a bit... so this girl was supposed to be dead. "Well,

 

I wouldn't say she's ok, she's a bit depressed, and really isn't in the mood to talk

 

Michelle, I'm sorry to say." she says gently, "H..how did you get my number, it's not

 

listed."

tomoyo_chan: “Awww... She’s still depressed?” A sigh on the other end of the phone. “I was

 

hoping she’d be doing better by now. And she’ll never feel better if she never talks about

 

it. Oh, a friend from school gave me the number.”

Jack: She nods, "Unlikely, but I'll accept that asnwer for now, I'll

 

let her know however." she was confused by this line of talk... she'd have thought it

 

would have been a bit more... creepy really... "She did care, and still does, but I have

 

to go... I'll keep an eye on her for you, if you'd like."

tomoyo_chan: “All right. Well, thanks, at least,” Michelle says before the phone hangs up.

Jack: Amy tucks the phone into her pocket, glancing to Rachel. "She

 

certernly seems nice enough." she said gently, before sighing, "That... was kinda weird

 

though."

tomoyo_chan: Rachel rolls her eyes. “Yeah, she seems plenty nice. Because she’s sweet and

 

perky and perfect. And then she says she’s living in Brahms with family, which just makes

 

me seem even crazier. At least you didn’t get the call where she’s begging me not to kill

 

her. That one is always fun,” she says sarcastically.

Jack: Amy nods a bit, she'd already decided when the fog lifted, she'd

 

redial the number, since it should have saved to her cell, still, "What happened exactly,

 

do you remember Rachel?" she asks, glancing over, "Once again, if you don't want to tell,

 

I won't force it." she let that hang... hoping she'd learn a bit more, but at the same

 

time, fearful for what she would learn.

tomoyo_chan: “You wanna know if I killed her or not, huh?” She looks over, raising a

 

pierced eyebrow. “Would it change anything? If I said I did, would that alter the

 

situation with us? We’re both stuck in the darker side of Silent Hill and I’m trying my

 

best to help you.” She sighs, brushing hair back past her face. “THe problem is, I don’t

 

know. That whole night... It’s all so messed up in my head. I know a lot of people who

 

come here are in denial about whatever they did. Looking for someone you killed like that

 

guy I met in Brookhaven who accidentally killed his little brother. So I can’t say for

 

sure. I don’t know what’s real.”

Jack: She shook her head, "No, I don't want to know if you killed her

 

or not, what I wanted to know is what you remembered, and if you can't make sense of it,

 

then I have my answer, you're not sure what happened... so maybe you did, maybe you

 

didn't... hell maybe some monster from this hell did as you tried to save her, who

 

knows... alright, I'm just trying to make sense of the situation... figure out why she'd

 

be trying to contact you, and through phone no less... it makes no sense, but there's a

 

connection of some kind, apparently... maybe I can work things though with her, for you, I

 

don't know, I'm working on theories, and I HATE working on theories... alright, I like to

 

have all sides of the story, and then form my opinion, work things out from there... but

 

I'm quickly seeing that I'm <C>

Jack: not going to get that, so I have to work with what I have... I've

 

always been a problem solver alright, as for why I'm stuck in here, who knows... everyone

 

has skeletons in their closet... maybe mine have to do with something from my childhood,

 

I'm still not clear on that... see, my childhood's still a bit fuzzy too... alright, I'm

 

not sure... what all's happened in part of my life... I know what I was told, that my

 

father bailed on the family when I was 2... and my stepdad came in, I know I didn't like

 

him very much, but he was rich, and left me in the will, ok, up untill 14, things are

 

really hazy, ok, so we're in a similar situation, who knows, this could be because of

 

something that happened in those 13 years... maybe not. I don't know." she took a breath,

 

looking down, "Sorry I..."

Jack: "I didn't mean to snap."

tomoyo_chan: Rachel shakes her head, looking over at Amy. “Don’t wory about it. I

 

understand. This place seems to mess with your memory at any rate. So neither of us

 

remembers what happened. That’s probably why it’s dragging us in, to make us work through

 

it all.”

Jack: She nods, sighing a bit, running a hand though her hair, she kept

 

walking, keeping pace with Rachel... "Yeah... probably... look, I'll help you where I

 

can... if you can help me, or at least try... like I said, I don't even know where I'd

 

start, but we atleast have a lead for you."

tomoyo_chan: Rachel smiles. “It’ll pop up sooner or later. The town likes being symbolic.

 

But yeah, I’d be happy to help. No reason to have to go it all alone.”S he stops in front

 

of the gates to the amusement park. “Well, here we are.” Pushing inside, she heads towards

 

the employees only area.

Jack: Amy follows, then blinks, "You know... how the hell am I going to

 

get back to the school?" she asks... considering for a moment, "On top of that, why

 

haven't things gone back to normal yet?" she asked, keeping close to Rachel... knowing she

 

wouldn't have ALL the answers, but hoping she atleast had a theory.

tomoyo_chan: “The town usually has lots of little goals. Look for this, find that, check

 

this out. I don’t have any big things to do today except get to work.” She steps over a

 

corpse in a Robbie the Rabbit costume, opening her locker. Inside are pictures of her and

 

Michelle as well as the Seal of Metatron drawn in the locker. She begins to change into

 

her costume. “I figure it’ll give up after I get ready for work.”

Jack: Amy nods sitting down next to her, "So... does that usually

 

work?" she asks curiously... hoping the answer is a yes.

tomoyo_chan: In most of the rabbit costume, Rachel puts her hair back into a ponytail.

 

“Yeah, most of the time. Sometimes it’s better to wait it out, but most of the time it’s

 

good to try to follow your goals.” She pulls the rabbit head on. “There we go.” Stepping

 

over the corpse again, she heads to the door, opening it up. Outside, people hurry about

 

from rides and games.

Jack: Amy follows her out, blinking a bit. "Guess it worked." she said,

 

more to herself than anyone around... she glanced over, then back down to the cellphone,

 

checking the time, and checking if she'd have enough time to get back for her shift.

tomoyo_chan: “Yep. So you should be fine for now,” the girl in the bunny costume says.

 

“You could probably even take a bus back if you want.”

Jack: Amy nods, "Yeah... I think I have enough time for that." she

 

said... smiling, "I'll.. catch you later Rachel." she said... heading to the exit gate of

 

the park, "Thanks." she said, waiving, before heading out the twist gate... she looked

 

back down to the phone... deciding to cycle though the most recent calls.

tomoyo_chan: The bunny waves back before some kids run over to her. She does a silly

 

little dance for them as Amy walks away. Sure enough, Michelle’s number is still on the

 

phone.

Jack: Amy glanced around... keeping her ear open for the sounds of

 

people around her... she smiled, and waited for the bus... once it arrived, full of people

 

comming and going, she paid for her fare and slipped into a seat... before hitting the

 

button to dial Michelle's number, bringing the phone to her ear... wondering just what

 

would great her on the other end.

tomoyo_chan: “Hello?” a sweet voice answers.

Jack: Amy blinked, supprised, "Michelle?" she asked, resting back

 

agenst the seat of the bus... "It's Amy, you called me around half an hour ago or so..."

tomoyo_chan: “Oh, right, Ms. Faythe! How are you?” she asks curiously. “Is everything all

 

right?”

Jack: Amy blinks, "Yeah, yeah I'm fine... and so is Rachel... look, I

 

was wondering if you could tell me exactly what happened between the two of you, from what

 

I understand so far, things were going great, so... what happened between the two of you

 

anyway?"

tomoyo_chan: “She’s fine? That’s definitely good. She’s been so messed up ever since she

 

got sent to Brookhaven. I’ve been worried about her.” She’s silent for a long moment,

 

sighing. “I... we... I broke up with her. And she kinda snapped after that.”

Jack: Amy nods, "I kinda guessed if it involved a trip to Brookhaven."

 

she said gently, "I sense there's more to it though, what happened when she snapped

 

Michelle?" she asked, hoping to coax a bit of information out of the girl, "I know it's

 

probably not my place, but, I need to know."

tomoyo_chan: A long pause. “We argued, I told her I never wanted to talk to her again, she

 

ended up breaking my boyfriend’s nose with a lunch tray when he tried to push her away.

 

She ended up coming to my house that night, crying and begging me not to leave her. I told

 

her that I just couldn’t be with her. She grabbed my pendant, we fought, some glass broke

 

and we both got cut up and she left. I ended up going to stay with family in Brahms that

 

night to get away from it all.”

Jack: Amy makes a note of this information..."Thanks... that helps a

 

bit... I'm trying to help out Rachel, she's helped me though some stuff since I moved

 

here, and I want to return the favor... um... you wouldn't mind if I keep in contact would

 

you, incase more questions come up?"

tomoyo_chan: “No, not at all. If I can help, I’m glad. She’s still important to me. Just

 

be careful. I know how... obsessed she can get.” In the background on the phone, Amy can

 

hear gears moving, what sounds like something heavy and sharp being dragged.

Jack: Amy nods, "Yeah... alright talk to you later." Amy hung up the

 

phone... looking around the bus, she brushed back her hair a bit, she'd heard that sound,

 

the scrapping... it sounded like that thing from the first time in otherworld... she shook

 

her head... how... she'd just called a number, from outside of otherworld... gotten a hold

 

of the girl, then heard that sound... meaning she'd what... contacted the other world

 

though her phone... that didn't make sense... but then again, maybe it did, if the

 

creatures emited an EM field... then they could minulipate it too probably, and a phone

 

signal is nothing but exactly that, electro magnetic energy... she couldn't trust that...

 

could she?

8:22 pm
Silent Hill

I've always loved Silent Hill. Psychological horror has always excited me a lot more than slashers or zombies or monsters or whatever. That existential terror of not knowing what's real or not is just so fascinating. So I started a Silent Hill RPG with a friend of mine and I have nothing better to do than post it here. ^^ Even though I really don't know if anyone even reads this anymore. ^^;; So I might as well post all the snippets I have for the different half finished stories and RPGs and things I have floating around.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

tomoyo_chan: "We're just so glad you got here in time. After Ms. Ashcroft... left us, we'd

been worried we wouldn't get a new history teacher in time for classes to begin again,"

says Janice, a woman in her early 30s with dirty blonde hair and glasses. She's the

school's writing teacher.

Jack: Amy smoothed down her dress, "Oh it's really no problem, I was

just glad there happened to be an opening, these days it's sometimes hard to get a job as

a teacher." she said with a light smile, adjusting her glasses, she wasn't the most

impressive woman, rather unassuming really, wearing a green dress that stopped just past

her knees, which complimented her black hair, she wore a gentle smile.

tomoyo_chan: Janice walks down the hallways of the high school. "Well, Silent Hill is a

bit of a tourist town, and a lot of the kids move away to bigger, more exciting towns when

they get older. We get a lot of them moving over to Brahms or Ashfield to get a taste of

the bigger city. So we don't have as many people sticking around to teach."

Jack: Amy walked along with, nodding and listening, "Really it's a nice

little town, little piece of heaven, at least so far." she said with a smile, "But I can

see why they would want out... all kids eventually want out of their small town

upbringing, if they were brought up in a small town anyway." she chuckled, looking out the

window as they passed one, "I know I wanted out when I was little."

tomoyo_chan: Janice smiles brightly. "It is. It's a quiet, relaxing place. That's why we

get so many tourists, especially during the summer. I couldn't imagine living anywhere

else. The kids just want excitement and coffee shops and clubs and all." She stops in

front of a door. "Here's your classroom. I hope you'll enjoy it. If you need any help,

just ask."

Jack: Amy nods once more... "Alright Janice... thank you for showing me

around." she says gently, passing and entering the classroom, looking around... the room

felt... so old... like there was soo much history in this one spot.

tomoyo_chan: "I have to get going, but the janitor is still here. Just take an inventory

of whatever you might need and leave it on the desk. They'll make sure you get it all."

The door closes behind Amy, leaving her alone in the old high school room.

Jack: Amy gives an "Alright." just as the door closes, as she walked up

to the desk, she played her fingers over the desks, looking at all the history, many of

the desks had carvings... things most would consider by deliquents... she saw it as past

history... she shook her head a bit, streaching finally... her heels clicking on the hard

wood as she walked, finally sitting at the desk, running her hands over it, "Yeah, this

place will be fun."

tomoyo_chan: The door opens a moment later, a student entering. Her brunette hair has dyed

purple tips. She blinks when she sees Amy in the room. "Oh. Hey. You Ms. Ashcroft's

replacement?" she asks, vaguely curious. She goes straight to the teacher's desk, diggign

through it.

Jack: Amy blinks, "Um... yes, I am... do you mind?" she said... moving

behind the girl, "This is my desk now, and I'll be cleaning it out, if you wish to retrive

something from it, simply ask AFTER I've cleaned it out." she says, crossing her arms, her

face showing obvious displeasure... but due to current dicipline laws, she couldn't lay a

hand on the kid...

tomoyo_chan: The girl shakes her head, hair swishing as she digs through one of the

drawers. "Nah, I don't mind at all. Keep doing what you're doing." From what looks like a

secret compartment, she pulls out two candles and a locket. "There we go." She stands up,

stretching. She takes a long look at Amy for the first time. "First time in Silent Hill?

You don't look like the touristy type so I guess you didn't come down here for the lake or

the amusement park before you got Ashcroft's job."

Jack: She notes the items but decides not to comment, "Yeah... I moved

her to get away from the big city... too much of a rush around there... I wanted a place I

could relax... and finally be myself... Silent Hill sounded like the place." She said

simply, leaning agenst one of the desks, arms crossed, "Not every day you find someone in

a small town like this with crazy hair like that... don't get me wrong, I think it's cool

but... don't you catch a lot of flack from the other students?"

tomoyo_chan: The girl grins. "Finally be yourself in a small town? You'd be better off in

San Francisco, lady. This place is for nice, quiet, hometown America stuff. And yes, thank

you, I do take flak for my hair. And other stuff. But screw it." She shrugs. "That's

probably why they make me wear the Robbie the Rabbit costume at work, since they moved me

from the ticket counter. I work up at the amusement park part time. You should stop by."

Jack: She nods, "I'd like that." she didn't mind the girl really, there

was something about her, maybe she'd jumped ahead in her assumptions, "Anyway what's with

the candles and locket?"she asked curiously, "Don't worry, secret's safe with me."

tomoyo_chan: THe girl looks at the handful of items for a moment before shrugging. "Some

stuff Ms. Ashcroft kept around. She was doing a lot of research in town and I was helping

out with it. She won't need these anymore, so I figured I'd grab 'em before they get

tossed out."

Jack: She nods, "I wouldn't have tossed anything, but alright, if

there's anything else you might want, just let me know after I clean out everything

alright, I'll be sure to just put it in a box." she was probably a fool, but the girl

seemed truthful enough, "Oh, I'm Amy, by the way.. if you end up in my class though, I

guss you'd be calling me Ms.Faythe"

tomoyo_chan: "Nice to meet you, Amy. Ms. Faythe, huh?" She grins. "No cute guy at home,

then? Most people here marry their high school sweethearts and all. Do you have a 'best

friend' you live with? Some cute woman that you're BFF with and so totally not rug

munching? As far as the neighbors know of course." She slips the articles in her backpack.

"I'm Rachel, by the way. Rachel Burke."

Jack: She rubs her neck, "Um...no, no boyfriend or girlfriend for that

matter..I'm just running things solo at the moment, anyway.." weird question but she

didn't care, she'd never been, candid about her relationships. "Figured I'd find someone

here eventually."

tomoyo_chan: Rachel pouts. "Damn. We finally get an out of town teacher fresh out of

college and she's not a total lesbo. Would've been more exciting. I only meet fun people

at the amusement park and they're just tourists anyway." She grins. "Find someone here?

You mean some good old fashioned guy? No thanks, not my style. That's why I usually head

down to Ashfield for the weekends. It's a three hour drive, but it's worth it."

Jack: She smirked, "I never said I was looking for a guy Rachel." she

chuckled, "Still I figured Silent Hill would be my little place in heaven, I can go out

clubbing on the weekends in one of the other towns I'm sure.." she chuckled, "Still, it's

cool being alone, I can do whatever I want around the house, and houses out here are

cheep... so it works out."

tomoyo_chan: "Hell's Deep is a great club up in Ashefield. Brahms is just a little bigger

than Silent Hill, but they've got a few decent places if you're bored. But yeah, Silent

Hill can be paradise. It really depends on what you're looking for." She shrugs. "Anyway,

you need someone to walk you home?"

Jack: She stood, "Sure, why not." she said, giving a smile, "Come on,

let's get going, I could use some rest before Tomorow, first day and all." she said,

streaching and picking up her coat. "So... I'm guessing your parents wanted to raise you

with the whole 'Small town vibe' Thing?"

tomoyo_chan: Rachel holds the door open before falling in step with her teacher through

the seemingly abandoned school. "Yeah, dad was born here, mom moved here when she was

twelve, they both loved the place and figured it would be a great place to raise kids."

THey step outside into the thick fog. "Did you take your car here?"

Jack: Amy shook her head, "No actually, I walked today... it was nice,

and I didn't think I'd need to since my house is only a few blocks away." she glanced

over, "Yeah well, trust me, I know the want to get out of a small town... still though,

it's nice to come back to one when you're older." she chuckled,"Then again, in hindsight,

I guess I'm not really that old."

tomoyo_chan: Rachel raises an eyebrow. "Yeah, you're only like ten years older than me.

Ms. Ashcroft was like twenty. But yeah, I can see why people love it here. It's just hard

to be a starving artist with a girlfriend in a place like this. And seeing as I don't

intend on working at the amusement park forever and marrying Johnny McPerfect, I don't

think the town will miss me that much." She walks down the fog shrouded streets.

Everything looks abandoned, lost.

Jack: Amy noticed, the state of the town, "Hey does it... get like this

often, feels like we're the only people out here." she said, falling back into step,

"But... uh, yeah I know what you're saying, my ex, she wasn't exactly the type for small

towns like this, she ditched me before I moved here." she sighed a bit, brushing back a

strand of her black hair.

tomoyo_chan: "You see it, too? Hmm.." Rachel chews on her lip. "Just for the sake of

curiosity, you don't have any particular guilt laying on your mind or anything, right?

Haven't strangled your mom, ran over a guy in a wheelchair, drowned your child or

anything?" She runs a finger over the dusty glass of a corner store that had been busy

earlier that day but now just looks like it has been empty for years. "So you didn't hunt

down your ex and put a hatchet in her head for ditching you, right?"

Jack: She shook her head, "No...no none of those things." she found the

questions odd... but... "I uh... why?" she asked, looking around... everything seemed to

have a palpable layer of dust on it... dirt, grime, like the town hadn't been inhabated...

 Amy had her issues sure... parents kicked her out, she'd lived on her own for a while...

she did have a couple of repressed sexual issues, but she never really thought about it...

she had been a happy enough person... she wasn't one to go home and cry and pitty herself

or anything.

tomoyo_chan: Rachel shrugs. "Just checking. Sometimes that causes problems." She pauses as

a figure moves jerkily through the fog in the intersection up ahead. "Lets take a

different route home, 'kay?" Taking Amy's hand, she drags the other woman down an

alleyway.

Jack: Amy notes the figure... blinking a bit she eeps, as she pulled

down the alleyway, "Ok, mind explaining exactly what's going on here, and why those would

cause problems, other than the obvious I'd have gotten away with murder?"

tomoyo_chan: Rachel turns and glares. "Don't eep so loud! Jesus. They can hear you, you

know." She heads to the end of the alley, using a few boxes to form steps to get over the

small fence in back of the alley. "This is the back lot of Jim's grocery store. Come on."

The figure makes a low moan as it approaches the alleyway. She motions Amy up the

makeshift steps. "Oh, it's not important. I just have an inquisitive mind. You teachers

like that in students."

Jack: Amy rolled her eyes, following quietly, that thing didn't quite

seem human, she sighed, 'maybe I should have moved to Racoon city.' she thinks to herself

following Rachel... whispering, "Ok look, you said, "They can hear you" so obviously you

know what 'they' are... so what are 'they' ?" she asked, "Teachers get to be inquisitive

aswell you know."

tomoyo_chan: "Angry locals," Rachel explains curtly, hopping over the edge into the

parking lot. A few scattered cars sit around, looking like they'd been there for years.

She heads over to the grocery store, pushing the doors open. As soon as she's inside, she

pulls a piece of chalk out, drawing a strange rune on the door. "There, that should keep

them out for now."

Jack: Amy was right behind her... blinking as she sees the workmanship

of the circle, "Occult knowlage... hmm, they get younger and younger.." she'd practitioned

for years, before finally giving up Wicca, and other occult things she'd been into... she

tilted her head, she'd never seen a circle quite like this one... but she shook it off,

"Ok, so... what do we do, just wait?" she had never seen something on this level of

strangeness, those things wern't human, she knew that much, from the groans and the

cryptic answers... she was able to figure that much out, but still, "This is way too

strange."

tomoyo_chan: "Seal of Metatron," Rachel explains. "It tends to keep things relatively

stable. For the most part. You need any canned goods? THose are usually pretty good.

Unless you find a puzzle piece or something in them. They get weird like that." She

wanders down the aisles, checking out a few different cans. "Oh, beef stew."

Jack: Amy is still quite confused... "Uh... yeah... some beef stew

sounds good actually." she says, deciding to just lean agenst the edge of the counter

still trying to make sense of all of this, "Ok... so let me get this stright, guilt and

the like cause those creatures to come out, manifest themselves in this town... that's

gotta happen alot then..."

tomoyo_chan: Rachel grabs a couple cans, throwing them in her backpack. "Wait, I never

said any of that. I don't want you quoting me on it. It's a foggy day and some guy we

didn't want to talk to was out there. That's all," she tries to explain, hefting her

backpack up.

Jack: She eyed Rachel, "No, but I know occult stuff when I see it, and

you spicificlly said that symbol would hold them... that doesn't normaly work with every

day people... Rachel, I want an explination, I should atleast get that much." she said...

eying the other girl, she was starting to get a bit more suspicous... "If it's something

that we don't discuss after it's gone, fine... but I need to know what the hell's going on

here... alright... otherwise, I'm going to freak... and that won't be a good thing."

tomoyo_chan: "Look, it's just one of those things about Silent Hill. Every town has it's

secrets. Some people get dragged into foggy Silent Hill and the Otherworld, some people

don't. It just happens. It's no big deal, you just stay the hell out of the way of the big

stuff." At the end of her statement, an air raid siren begins to call out. She sighs,

annoyed. "Oh, God damnit. When it rains it pours."

tomoyo_chan: "Are you sure you didn't ax murder someone while raping their little sister? 
Because this town seems to really like you."

Jack: She shook her head, "No, I never did anything like that, I mean,

I used to be really into the occult, and did some things I'm not proud of, and didn't have

the best family in the world, but hey, who does everything goody tooshoes right... I never

broke the law or anything." she looked around, "Ok, what's with the air siren, we in world

war II or something?"

tomoyo_chan: Rachel tilts her head to the side. "You were into the occult? Hmm.. Maybe

that's it. You could just be sensitive to shifts in the town." She barely seems to pay

attention as the world changes around them, the walls flaking off to show gratings over an

endless void, walls stripping away to barbed wire, odd bodies hanging from hooks

throughout the grocery store.

Jack: Amy closes her eyes tightly, rubbing at them, trying to make what

she's seeing either go away, or make sense... none of it made sense, and it wasn't going

away... why, why did she have to move to Silent Hill again, oh yeah, her piece of heaven.

"I'm... going to guess you see it all the time then too?"

tomoyo_chan: Rachel nods. "Yeah, I'm used to it. I've seen it for years now. The Seal will

help a bit, but if the whole place is in the Otherworld now, we should get going. Come on,

I know a place we can wait it out." She walks towards the front door, feet clanging on the

grating, creatures climbing along underneath them.

Jack: Amy nodded, looking down, seeing the creatures... the weird thing

about this, was how surreal it all was... she could tell by the clanging of her heels on

the grating, this was real, but at the same time... it felt soo... unreal... she feel in

behind Rachel, "You know, I'm having to put out a lot of trust for only my second day

being in town, and only knowning you a few minutes really..."

tomoyo_chan: Rachel shrugs. "You can choose not to trust me and just head home. I never

said you have to trust me. I'm just being a good student and keeping an eye on her

teacher." Pushing out the front door, she hurries down the street, more creatures

following in the hellish version of the town.

Jack: Amy followed close, "Hey now I never said I'd misplaced my

judgement... it's just... I'm kinda freaked out ok." she says, keeping close... doding a

numb body that came rather closer from the side of the street.

tomoyo_chan: Something large seems to be following behind, a loud scraping sound as 

something heavy and sharp is dragged over the metal. The other creatures begin to act more

wildly. Rachel hurries up some steps, pushing some doors open. "In here." The doors close

behind Amy as the creatures were right behind her, but aside from some scracthing on the

doors, none follow. Rachel sighs as she walks over to an empty pew in the church, sitting

down, her head leaning back. "I should have brought a can opener. Or something more

snacky." Adorned on the walls are religious images, though not entirely christian. They

seem to be of some mother god.

Jack: Amy followed inside, eeping as the creatues scratched at the

door, "This... is amazing..." she said, looking around the church, she didn't know what

that large thing was, but she knew it was bad... and she knew she didn't want to know what

it was... "This town is something else." she began looking at the images... tilting her

head, "God as a woman... hmm."

tomoyo_chan: "Yeah, they don't tell you about it in the tourist brochures, that's for

sure." Rachel says, digging through her backpack, looking for something to keep her

occupied while she waits. She finally pulls out a portable game system. "Yeah, it's the

big religion in town."

Jack: Amy nods a bit, working though the different works, she turns

back to Rachel... "So, you're a gamer too, seems we have a few things in common." she said

with a chuckle, "Either that or you're me when I was younger, I haven't decided yet."

tomoyo_chan: Rachel grins, looking up. "In this town, who knows? I still haven't pegged

exactly why you're getting dragged into the Otherworld. That usually only happens with the

guilty. Most people show up and think this place is heaven and never see this side of the

town. At least it's not boring."

Jack: She nods, "Yeah, that's true... so, have you run into any other

people who end up in otherworld?" she asked, sitting down next to Rachel, slipping off her

heals... rubbing her feet a bit... they wern't exactly made to run around from monsters

in.

tomoyo_chan: "Now and then. I found this one guy looking for his dead wife. Some lady who

killed her dad. A girl who drowned her little sister." She shrugs. "The town gets it's

share of people coming through. It's different for every person. Like what you see and

what I see are probably different in a lot of ways."

Jack: She blinks, "Really... hmm, ok, back on the road... some weird

body thing nearly ran into me, it was on the side of the road, looked like it was comming

to try to get either of us, I couldn't see a face... but... it was a body, no real arms

either."

tomoyo_chan: "Hmm... Yeah, could be anything. Some things end up being the same, but

others end up being really specific to you. Usually the monsters you see are different

fears or issues you've got. I've got tons of crap about my ex...." she trails off, shaking

her head. "Anyway, yeah, it sucks. I usually just wait for it to leave. Seal of Metatron

works for the foggy Silent Hill really well. I have it all over my room and carry the

chalk with me when I leave the house to draw it if I need it. But in Dark Silent Hill,

when the place looks like Hell, it's not as effective. So the church is usually a good

place to head then. Better than running around the amusement park. That place sucks when

it gets all dark and wonky."

Jack: She nods gently, looking around, "So... what happens if the place

goes all wonky when you're at work?" she asked, "Assuming it has happened." she says

before relaxing with her back agenst the wall, watching Rachel play the game, and curious

to get to know the girl better, she felt... drawn to her, almost like it was fate that

they had met today... maybe there was someone looking out for her.

tomoyo_chan: "Well, same like what happened out there. The place gets deserted while I'm

in that stupid rabbit costume and then I have to make my way home. Which usually requires

me to solve all sorts of messed up puzzles and find the long way home. It's worse when it

gets all dark and hellish. The park gets all screwed up, especially the haunted house and

all." She rests her feet on the back of the pew in front of her, still playing.

Jack: Amy nods a bit, "Well, if... you're cool with it, I'd like to

have you over every now and then, we can compare notes, because since I'm here with you,

and we're both seeing similar things, we can probably learn from one another." she said

streaching and relaxing now, feeling a bit safer here, and it always helps having company.

tomoyo_chan: "Sure, that sounds good. That's what I was helping Ms. Ashcroft with. She was

really into the history of Silent Hill and was trying to understand it better, so she was

looking into all this stuff. Those candles I got are really good for purifying areas and

all. And yeah, it does help having company. It makes you feel less crazy when it's not all

just possibly in your own head."


A door near the altar opens, a 12 year old girl stepping out casually. Her face lights up.

 "Rachel! You did come back! Oh, and you brought someone with you!" she says excitedly.

 

Rachel sighs, not looking up from the game. "No, I'm not joining the church, Katie. And

this is Amy. Amy, Katie. Katie, Amy."

Jack: Amy nodded to Rachel as she talked about what she and Ashcroft

were doing before the young girl came out, she blinked, "Hello Katie." she said with a

smile, holding out her hand, "I'm Amy." sure she'd been introduced but she felt she sould

give atleast some respect to this girl... everyone deserved that much.

tomoyo_chan: Katie smiles shaking the woman's hand heartily. "It's nice to meet you. The

Order is always happy to see people interested in the church. If I can help at all, just

ask."

 

"She doesn't need the spiel, Kate, she's just relaxing for now," Rachel says from her

game.

Jack: Amy rests a reasuring hand on Rachel's shoulder for a second.

"Actually, I'm kinda curious... tell me just a bit about the order..." being a history

teacher... she was interested in religion aswell, as a byproduct really, and religion was

something that had always interested her, and one of the reasons she'd gone from being a

good little christian girl to going wicca... and other places...

tomoyo_chan: Katie begins to give a long description of the religion, of God as a female

who created everything and promised she would be back someday, reborn. Katie says it all

swiftly, barely taking a breath, smiling as she finishes, gasping a bit for air.

Jack: Amy nods, listening to the entire thing, she sits back in the

pew... arms crossed digesting the information, "Well, it's not too far fetched... I won't

say I'll devote, but, I do want to learn more... does the order have a holy book of any

kind?"

tomoyo_chan: "Or she's Samael, the fallen angel," Rachel tosses out.

 
"She is not! Take that back! Only mean, hateful people say that because they're scared,"

Katie says, her fists balled up.

 

"Right, right. Because only the guilty end up in Dark Silent Hill because they're being

punished for their sins." She looks up from her game at last at Amy, nodding towards

Katie. "That's why so many people see the town as heaven. Silent Hill can be heaven or

hell depending on you. Like Katie here sees unicorns and puppies and rainbows constantly.

And I'm only slightly exaggerating."

Jack: Amy nods a bit, giving a smile, "Well, maybe though this

experience, I'll find out about some dark, secret that happened in my past or something

like that, you can't completely close yourself off to things like this... keeping an open

mind can be key at times I suppose." she smiles to Katie, and shrugs, "So um... Rachel,

how do we know when it's safe to move?"

tomoyo_chan: Rachel grins. "So using the town as therapy, huh? Not a bad way to go about

it. Maybe it'll stop bothering you when you have your issues worked out. The town really

is perfect most of the time. Anyway, we just wait for the air raid siren. When it goes off

again, it should be fine." Sure enough, a few minutes later, the siren calls out again.

"There we go." Putting her game back in her backpack, she slips off the pew. "See ya,

Katie. Tell your mom I said hi."

Jack: Amy stood, and patted Katie's back as she got up, "Hey, I'm sure

I'll see you again, have a good evening, alright." she says with a smile, sure the events

were, weird... but why let it keep you down, besides, Rachel seems to deal rather well...

she looked to Rachel as they exited the church, "Um... you mentioned your ex back there...

I know you probably don't want to talk about it right now but... when the time comes...

I'm open to listening."

tomoyo_chan: Katie smiles and waves energetically. "Okay, have fun! Enjoy yourself! See

you soon!"

 

Rachel steps outside, taking a look around before walking calmly down the steps. "Thanks.

I appreciate it. But trust me, you don't want to hear about it. It's just some stupid stuff that happened.
We all have reasons why we're here."



Current Mood: lonely
::Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008::
11:36 pm

I've been pretty depressed lately over the job search. I've got a degree in Psychology with a Sociology minor, but I'm having such a hard time finding anything. All the rejection letters are really starting to eat away at whatever self-esteem I built up getting the damn degree in the first place. Oh, plus the fact that not only do I have a useless degree, but I also have tons of student loans to payoff in a month and no job to pay it off with. So that's been messing with my head a lot lately. I can sit around with my younger siblings and psycho analyze how the Grinch is using ego defensive tactics to reaffirm his self identity after Cindy Lou Who threatens his sense of self by implying he is something other than that which he thinks he is, but I can't get a damn job. ^^;; Gee, thanks, four years of Psychology. Anyway, that was the state I was in while writing this short scene, which is why it's introspective and a bit more on the emo side. The version of Gwen Stacy/Spidergirl I write (with elements plucked from the Ultimate Spiderman, Spiderman Loves Mary Jane, and The Spectacular Spiderman cartoon versions) is really easy for me to pour out things through. Writing her lets me work through a lot of things in my head. The scene is supposed to lead into Max Dillon/Electro showing up at the party, having just gotten his own powers and deciding to hurt the jocks and kidnap the girl he likes. Him being another kid in Gwen's class, and one without many friends himself, I wanted to set up the dichotomy between the two. Gwen feels isolated and lonely after her dad's death and decides to do something positive about it by protecting others. Max decides to use his power to get what -he- wants. Similar circumstances, different paths. Which lends more of a tragic air to when Max ends up getting killed later on in the series, I think, if he's basically the same as Gwen.

Oh, and I went out to a 'Zoo Lights' Christmas thing tonight, which was basically the zoo with tons and tons of Christmas lights. Anyone who knows me knows that I ~love~ Christmas, probably a little too much. But I'm geeky and obsessive and overemotional, so I tend to fixate anyway. ^^;; That's why I've got a miniature fiberoptic Christmas tree (yay!! fiberoptics!! ) on my floor that I snagged from someone who wasn't using it. The Zoo Light thing was really nice, even though I was a little too anxious about the job thing to really enjoy it. I do kind of wish the steal drum band they had there had been playing Christmas music rather than nondescrept stuff, though. O_o It kinda detracted from the overall mood. Still, pretty nice in general. ^^ I'll probably watch through Scrooged and Year Without A Santa Claus again tonight.

Anyway, here's the scene. If anyone has any comments, I'd appreciate them~!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

God, I suck at this. Leaning against the sink, I can barely hear myself think as the music blares in the house of some girl I don't even know. I didn't want to come. I'm not good at parties. I'm not good with people. The only reason I'm even here is because MJ talked me into it. She thought it would be good for me, that I've spent too much time as Spidergirl lately and not enough time as Gwen. But at least I know what I'm doing as Spidergirl. As Gwen, I can never seem to get things right. I'm the smartest girl in school and yet my teacher's are bitchy because my grades have been slipping since I've spent so much time kicking oddly costumed guys in the face at all hours of the night. I can't seem to deal with other students because I'm not good determining personal boundaries. I always end up saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. And you can only go on so many rants about warp coils and temporal loops before stop listening to you. And yet MJ is the life of the party down there. I can't get half that kind of attention. She's just so much better at being fun and pretty and girly than I am.

 

Knock knock knock.

 

"In a minute!" I yell angrily at the bathroom door. I know MJ wanted to make me have a good time tonight, but she's already busy with Liz and half the football team wanting to do body shots off of her. I glare at the girl in the mirror, adjusting my glasses. Probably would've helped to dress in something sexier than pants and a sweater, but I didn't really want that kind of attention. If I could even pull it off in the first place. I just want to spend all my time alone in a basement or on a rooftop. And yet here I am, surrounded by people, and the first thing I do is lock myself in a bathroom as soon as my best friend isn't around to cling onto. I'm out there saving people all the time and yet I can't even talk to most of them. Ironic. How the hell does MJ pull it off? I roleplay as much as she does and I still can't begin to pull it off.

 

I miss my dad.

 

The lights flicker a half second after my spidersense starts screaming at me followed by an audible shriek downstairs. I don't know if I should be thankful or angry that something requires the attention of my alter ego. At least I know what I'm doing as Spidergirl. Things are definitely simpler that way. Pulling my mask and webshooters out of my bag, I'm out the window in moments.

 



Current Mood: anxious
::Wednesday, August 13th, 2008::
6:26 pm
Snakes on a Plane

 

This is just a stupid conversation I had with my brother involving our paralyzing fear of snakes that went kind of out there because we were both really tired. ^^;; I'm Tomoyo-chan and he's Jason in the conversation.

9:19:34 PM tomoyo_chan: Oh, totally. O_o Snakes are one of the few animals that I just go into full on panic mode around. Cannot handle. File not found.

9:20:24 PM Jason: I will haul ass. If escape is not possible, the snake must die.

9:21:32 PM tomoyo_chan: While I scream my head off. ^^ It's just weird. Cockroaches do that to me to a lesser extent. But I can handle most animals. Snakes just freak me the hell out. O_O

9:21:58 PM Jason: Tigers? Eh.

9:22:08 PM Jason: Snakes? >_< WTF ROXXORZ GOING TO DIE KTHX

9:22:28 PM tomoyo_chan: Exactly. O_o Even dangerous animals don't bother me as much as snakes. Even if it's a harmless snake.

9:23:00 PM Jason: I lived in Arizona.

9:23:10 PM Jason: I can't AFFORD to believe in the concept of 'harmless snakes'

9:23:58 PM tomoyo_chan: Yeah, because all snakes will kill you, pretend to be you to infiltrate your family and then your government, and then get elected president and start a nuclear war. Fucking snakes. -_-

9:24:35 PM Jason: >_< And most of all: They'll get on your fucking plane.

9:24:47 PM Jason: That's what all snakes want in life; to ride an airplane.

9:25:15 PM tomoyo_chan: Oh, God, all the fucking time. O_o They will do anything and everything to get on your plane. Lie, cheat, steal or kill. Anything to taste that delicious sense of flight that God stole from them.

9:25:55 PM Jason: Shit, the devil fucked Adam and Eve over because they were too content in the garden of Eden to study science. He wanted them to make a fucking plane, dammit.

9:26:44 PM tomoyo_chan: Exactly! O_o He waited patiently, but he noticed they were too content sitting on their asses all day not making planes. So getting them to eat the Fruit of Knowledge was the only way they'd build him a fucking plane.

9:27:50 PM Jason: And.. THOUSANDS of years later.. it worked. With one hitch: we have anti-snake laws on planes.

9:28:26 PM tomoyo_chan: So now they have to try to find ways to sneak on the planes they got us to build. O_o

9:28:37 PM tomoyo_chan: I heard one of the Wright Brothers was actually a snake.

9:29:00 PM Jason: Wouldn't surprise me. He seemed to be a big proponent of having large, unwatched ramps on airplanes.

9:29:05 PM tomoyo_chan: He bit the guy, stole his hat, put on a fake mustache, and started telling the other brother how cool it would be if they made a plane.

9:29:56 PM Jason: At least HE got to fly

9:30:42 PM tomoyo_chan: Oh, totally. O_o Lucky bastard.

9:31:48 PM Jason: And he fucked over all the other snakes that got him there. He promised to take turns.. but unfortunately, snakes are.. well.. fuckers.

9:32:12 PM tomoyo_chan: Even to other snakes. ^^;;; What can you expect when you base your entire species on backstabbing?

9:32:41 PM Jason: o_O Unfortunately, people don't realize that it means you're going to get fucked

::Friday, August 8th, 2008::
5:09 pm
Study Group

Water rushes past Shocker’s head as he runs. The man turns, firing a concussive wave behind him, hoping to at least slow down the hunter stalking him. No such luck. Hydroman seemed to be only steps behind him. ‘Reminder to self. Don’t try to run off with all the cash on a job when the other guy is crazier than you are.’

 

Out of breath, Shocker rounds the corner. He almost doesn’t notice her sitting there on the wall a few feet above him, casually reading what looks like a thick textbook. A grin grows across his face under his mask. “Spidergirl. Fancy meeting you here.”

 

“Hey, Shock,” she says distractedly, turning the page, not bothering to look down at him.

 

Shocker laughs, hands on his hips. “Well, sweet cheeks, it must burn your tight ass knowing you have to protect me now, huh?” It would be nice watching her kick someone else’s ass for a change.

 

“Nope.” She flips to the back of the book, looking through the index. “How the hell am I supposed to know which scholar criticized the Sung Dynasty’s use of Eunuchs if it’s not in the damn book?”

 

Shocker blinks. “What do you mean nope? Hydroman’s right behind me. He’s stalking me. You’ve gotta stop him.”

 

Pulling the book down, Spidergirl stares at Shocker from the large lenses of her costume. “Because I’m not here to protect you. You got yourself into this mess. I assume that bag of cash is half Hydroman’s. And he’s as messed up as you are, so screwing him over was a bad move. I’m only here to referee. You two keep it between yourselves and keep the property damage down. I protect innocents, Shocker. You stopped being one of those the eight hundredth time you went on one of your silly supervillian crime sprees. On top of that, I’m not in the mood. I’ve got a history exam tomorrow and I shouldn’t even be here tonight. So just keep it clean, okay?”

 

“A history exam? How the hell old are you?” Shocker asks in surprise. He always figured she was older.

 

She laughs, tilting her head to the side. “Young enough that you might wanna take back all your sexual innuendoes you keep tossing my way when we fight. And Hydroman’s lining up on you. I’d run.” She pulls the book back up.

 

Shocker manages to break into a sprint just as another high pressure spray of water shoots past where he was standing. He whirls about, firing blast after blast at Hydroman, but it only sends water spraying away from him with every hit.

 

Spidergirl webs up the alleyway entrance after Hydroman enters, blocking them off from the outside world. “Hey, do either of you know which Eunuch ran China’s first huge boat expedition? I’m totally blanking on his name right now,” she asks as the two start fighting.

 

Current Mood: sick
::Monday, August 4th, 2008::
1:40 am
Won't Go Home Without You

A story I wrote over the past week, still using my Gwen Stacy version of Spidergirl. I'm really sorry about the formatting, but I wrote it in a text file (dumb idea, I know) and livejournal keeps raping my formatting when I try to fix it. -_- *sighs* I'm too sick and tired right now to keep fighting with it, so I'm just gonna post it now.


'It's not over tonight.
Just give me one more chance to make it right.
I may not make it through the night,
But I won't go home without you.'

Won't Go Home Without You by Maroon 5

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"MJ!" a voice calls out. The pretty redhead looks up from a message on her cell phone.
Mary Jane Watson is, for lack of a better word, gorgeous. This, coupled with her ability
to act pretty much however people want her to be, honed from years of dealing with an
angry father, have recently helped her sky rocket in popularity at her high school.
Which still left her confused, as she'd been one of the geekier, unpopular girls for
most of the rest of her life. She felt like a fake now, like sooner or later everyone
would find out that she wasn't the vapid hot girl they thought she was. But she was too
addicted to the attention, to finally being the pretty, popular girl, to let it go.
Finally, everyone looked at her. Finally, everyone wanted to be her friend. She got
invited to parties, boys would talk to her. She was dating the cute rich boy. It was so
deliciously different.

"MJ!" Gwendolyn Stacy appears, for all intents and purposes, to be the exact opposite of
Mary Jane. Short blonde hair, large green glasses perched on her nose. While MJ wears a
jean miniskirt, open toed heels, and a belly baring shirt, lipstick and jewelry, Gwen
wears oversized baggy pants that hide her sandal clad feet and a Voltron t-shirt. While
MJ has blossomed into high school perfection, Gwen is still the geeky girl she always
was. Except for the spider powers, of course. But despite appearances, Gwen and MJ had
been best friends since the second grade. They lived across from each other and spent
nearly all their free time together.

Or had, rather, until MJ had started her ascent. And with MJ busy, Gwen had been throwing
herself harder into her time as Spidergirl. Her dad had died half a year ago trying to
arrest Norman Osborn, the Green Goblin. Her mentor, the person who was like a big sister
to her, Jeanne Dewolfe had died a month ago in an incident involving the Kingpin. Gwen
blamed herself for both deaths, thinking if only she had been better, faster, stronger,
she could have saved them both. MJ was her only anchor left, the only thing keeping her
sane.

"Tim called and said he can't make it to the roleplaying game, but I figured I'll just
run a campaign with your character. We'll grab some pizza and watch some movies and just
give you a chance to level up a bit. Besides, I wanna get you back for trying to seduce
that dragon last time we played," Gwen says, grinning.

MJ chews on her lower lip, looking down at her cell phone. Liz Allen, the head cheerleader
and self-proclaimed new best friend to MJ, had sent her an invite to a big party for that
night. Well, parties are only for one night. And Gwen was always there. She'd been there
for as much of MJ's life as she cared to remember. There'd always be other times. "Sorry,
Gwen, can I get a raincheck? There's a party at Liz's tonight and..."

Green eyes narrow behind her glasses. "Again? This is the third time you've ditched me in
the past two weeks, MJ. First you had to go cheer for Flash Thompson at the football game,
 even though I know you hate football. Then you had to run because Liz wanted to just go
cruising with you. Now this. And you won't hang out with me at school anymore. Afraid
people will see you with the geeky girl? Jesus, I thought the ditzy popular girl thing
was just an act."

MJ shakes her head. "It is! I mean... I'm just... Everyone likes me this way," she tries to explain. Gwen had always been her best friend. Her only real friend. But now, everyone liked her. She had to understand that.

A blonde eyebrow raises. "Everyone, huh? I liked the old MJ, the one who didn't hide who she was or pretend she's dumb so everyone will like her more. But if everyone else likes this one better, why should it matter what I think? You have fun with all your new friends, MJ. I'm tired of being your dirty little secret." Gwen starts walking swiftly towards the shaded side of the building, digging out her webshooters from her backpack. "You don't need me anymore. That's painfully clear. I was only the one who brought you food when you ran away from home and who tried to beat up Flash Thompson for bullying you in the fourth grade. But that's not as important as having lots of shallow, popular friends. Good luck with them all, MJ. I'm sure they come over when you cry yourself to sleep and sit on your bed with you, too." She was mad and scared, but she couldn't show that. MJ was all she had left. Jeanne, her dad, gone. She didn't have any other friends. But then Gwen wasn't important. Spidergirl was strong enough to handle it all on her own. Spidergirl doesn't need anyone.

"Gwen, please! It's not like that!" MJ panics, grabbing onto Gwen's arm. She just kind of thought Gwen would always be there, like the sun in the sky or the air she breathed. Gwen was just a given. Her new friends, her popularity, it was all extra, on top of it all. Her heart pounding, she tries to hold onto Gwen, but the blonde yanks away, pulling her mask down. Firing a webline, Spidergirl, swings off. "Don't go..." MJ whimpers, slumping to her knees in the grass. She just wanted people to like her... But without Gwen, did it matter?

Hands gently squeeze Mary Jane's shoulders. "You okay, MJ?" Harry asks, looking down at his girlfriend.

Wiping at her eyes, MJ turns, hugging Harry tightly. "It's Gwen..."

"Shhh... It's okay, honey." Harry kisses her forehead, rubbing her back. "She hurts everyone." His eyes narrow angrily for a moment before he grins crazily. "Hey, wanna teach her a lesson? Make sure she never hurts anyone ever again."

MJ blinks. "Harry?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She should apologize. No, why the hell should she apologize? MJ was the one who ditched her, who wanted to be someone else. Gwen was still just Gwen. So why wasn't that enough? Spidergirl sighs as she swings through the air, swishing past skyscrapers, the wind sweeping past her. Just need to get her mind off of everything. Find something to fix, to make better. She's Spidergirl now.

Brrrrrriiiiiiing.

Cell phone! Gloved fingers search for the phone as she flings herself through the air at high speeds. Gotta get it before she hangs up. She wants to hear MJ's voice, even if she has no idea what she'll say. Should she apologize? Should she make MJ? Could they work things out?

"MJ?" she asks breathlessly through the mask as she finally pulls up the phone. A laugh answers. Gwen's body goes ridgid. Oh no... "Harry..."

"Wrong. Hobgoblin now. I see you made poor MJ cry, Gwen. But it's okay. You have a chance to fix that. If you can get to the top of the bridge in time, maybe you can keep her from crying anymore."

"Gwen, help!!" MJ screams on the other end of the phone.

Hobgoblin laughs again. "But you better hurry. I'm not feeling very patient." And with that, the line goes dead.

God, no. Firing a webline, Spidergirl moves as quickly as she can towards the bridge. MJ's in trouble. She has to reach her in time. She can't let the last time MJ saw her be when she was angry with her.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hobgoblin's goblin glider whirrs, straining to stay aloft as he holds onto a struggling MJ, his  other hand holding onto a cable attached to a trolley. Kids from a field trip scream, panicking in the confines of the trolley.

Spidergirl lands on the top of the bridge, watching Hobgoblin, someone who used to be a friend. "Harry, don't do this!" she pleads. Her mind races. She can't reach them both, not in time. She's just not fast enough. Not strong enough. Not good enough. How good is a hero when you can't save everyone?

"No, not this time. You have to make a choice, Spidergirl. The children or MJ. What kind of 'hero' are you? One person or many. You already killed my father. Let's see how selfish you are. Your best friend or all these little children," Hobgoblin laughs.

"Your dad killed my father, Harry," Gwen shoots back before she can restrain herself. Now is not the time for that. "MJ's your girlfriend. Don't do this to her. You love her."

The Hobgoblin laughs again, shaking MJ by her wrist, eliciting a scream from the redhead, one of her shoes plummeting. "This traiterous bitch? I find her loyalty to you disturbing. If she's going to defend you despite killing my father, then I guess she better hope you have the same loyalty to her. Choose, Spidergirl." With that, Harry lets go, the trolley and MJ dropping towards the water below.

"No!!!!" Gwen screams. For an agonizing second she freezes. The trolley has at least twenty kids in it. Twenty families about to be destroyed, torn apart by a vengeful goblin. All balanced against MJ. One girl or twenty children. Her best friend against young lives filled with potential.

And then Gwen is freefalling, her body pushing off into empty space, moving as quickly as she can. This is a choice she will revisit for years to come, always asking herself if she did the right thing, wondering what she could have done differently, what she should have done differently. She reaches out and MJ is in her arms. She fires a webline, swinging up with the redhead even as she hears the screams and that horrible splash.

She lands on the bridge, setting MJ down without a word, diving back off the bridge, using webs to slow her descent just enough to keep from splattering against the water below. She cuts through the icey water, lungs burning as she pushes through the darkness to the rapidly sinking tram. Something in her arm tears painfully as she wrenches the doors open, grabbing onto panicked, drowning kids in the chilly darkness. They break the waters surface with the kids in her arms. She wants to go back down, but she can't until she has a secure webline for them all to hold onto against a bridge support as they wait for help to arrive.

And then she's under again, the throbbing in her left arm making it hard to swim. She pushes harder. Faster. Up and down, grabbing as many kids as she can. But then, when she goes back, she can't find it. The tram is gone, lost in the darkness, lost to the depths. And all those within it.

In all, she made three trips before she lost sight of the tram. She managed to save 11 of the 20 children on board the tram. 11. The nine who drowned cry out in Gwen's head, asking why they died so that one person could live. The needs of the many..

Spidergirl sits in silence as the ambulences cart off the children. A cop had placed a blanket around her, but she hardly moves. MJ stands near her. Occasionally, the redhead would speak, but Spidergirl does not hear her. She stares off into the distance, still hearing the cries in her head.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Hobgoblin sits in a darkened office at the desk his father had spent so many late nights at. His father had been the greatest man he'd ever known. He was a genius. And yet his life had been cut short by someone he thought was his friend. But he would finally make his father proud. He would finally get revenge.

The window behind him smashes in, sending shards flying all over the room. Spidergirl lands in a crouch on his father's desk, her large white eyes fixed on him. A wide grin pulls at his goblin mask. "I was wondering when you'd show up. Time to dance?"

A thunderous kick catches him in the chest, sending him back and shattering the chair he was sitting in. It takes him a moment to catch his breath. But by then, she's already on him.

There are no quips tonight. She has no humor left in her to mask her nervousness. But she has no nervousness tonight, either. Nervousness is for when you fear what will happen to you, what may happen next. Gwen Stacy does not fear for the future. She is only filled with a deep pit of regret for the past, a past she was too weak to change. And this makes her angry. First Norman Osborn had killed her father and now his son had forced her to choose between her best friend and the lives of children. She had failed them because she wasn't fast enough or strong enough or good enough. But there would be none of that tonight. Harry would not be hurting anyone ever again if she had anything to say about it.

The Goblin formula grants Harry great speed and strength. But she is faster. He can barely see her. She hits him again and again with blows that would shatter concrete, driving him back, leaving him confused, feeling surrounded. The Hobgoblin laughs, trying to meet Gwen's eyes. "So I take it you didn't save all those little kiddies tonight, huh?" He can't tell if she even heard him, the spider attacking like a woman possessed, a hurricane of blows that leave him aching all over. "Some superhero you are. You couldn't save your dad. You could only save MJ by sacrificing a bunch of kids. Do you think daddy's proud of his little girl?" He starts to laugh when she lands a blow on his face. He reels back, spitting up blood. Did he just swallow a tooth?

Tripping over his cloak, Harry lands in a heap on the floor, looking up at the enraged figure of the girl who had tutored him for years. "You killed my father. I'll take everything from you. EVERYTHING, Gwen. I won't stop until you have nothing left. I'll hurt you worse than you've ever hurt me. You never should have killed my father," he growls.

A hand lashes out, but she doesn't strike him. Instead, Spidergirl yanks his mask off. "If you want to hurt me, do it, Harry. But come after me, not innocents! Not MJ! If you want to kill me, then do it!" She pulls him close, huge spider eyes of her costume boring into him. "I've messed up, I failed my dad, I failed those kids. If you need to get revenge, then do it. But how could you hurt innocent people, Harry? How could you try to kill MJ?"

Harry grins wildly as the door opens. "Because you took away the most important person in my life. And I'll take away yours."

"Gwen! Don't!" MJ cries from the doorway, having raced all the way down here to try to stop her best friend and her boyfriend from killing each other. She needs to stop this before someone she cares about ends up dead. She has to do -something-.

Gwen turns to stare at the redhead. "MJ, I told you to hide! It's not safe to..." And then she realizes the mistake she's made. Her spidersense blares as everything goes slow motion and her handhold on the situation falls apart entirely. Harry has activated his Goblin Glider from somewhere in the building. Somewhere behind MJ. And it's coming fast. At that speed, it will spear her just as Norman's glider had speared him.

Spidergirl lets go of Harry. The glider is going faster than she can move and building up speed. No way she can reach MJ in time. She fires a webline, ignoring the screaming in the back of her head telling her Harry is back up. The webline connects with a 'thwwwip', the line going taut as the roar of the glider's engine fills the office. Gwen yanks as hard as she can on the line, pulling MJ out of the way of the spikes on the front of the jet board, but not out of the way of the wing. It hits MJ hard in the side, sending her rolling across the floor with an anguished yelp.

Gwen moves to go to her, but it's too late. Harry is right behind her. The razor bat sinks deep into her hip, pain shooting through her body. She whirls about in time for Harry to punch her in the stomach, the breath rushing out of her. Both fists crash down on her head, sending her sprawling. Gwen gathers herself as fast as she can. Harry is hurt more than she is. She can still take him. But when she looks up, he's gone.

"No.... No!! MJ!!!" Gwen leaps to the window, but it's too late. He knew he couldn't win this fight. He's already flying off, holding onto an unconscious MJ, laughing into the night sky. "No!!!" Gwen punches the wall, defeated.

Her best friend... Even after saving her earlier, she still wasn't good enough to save her this time. She tried her hardest, pushed herself beyond her limits. She was the best she could be. But what really scared her, more than anything, was that maybe being her best would never be quite good enough. That she couldn't win and those she loved would die regardless.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Dad, I can do this... I don't need their help. I can avenge you,' Harry argues mentally in front of a broken mirror. His father laughs on the other side of the glass.

"Harry, you've proven you can't beat her in a one on one battle. She killed me. And you, sadly, aren't quite what I was. That is why you have to bring everything against her. Make it impossible for her to win. You aren't the only one who hates her. Use their hatred. Break her. Then kill her," Norman commands.

Harry sighs, looking back at the assembled group in the warehouse. Dr. Octopus, the Rhino, Electro, Sandman. They all hate her for their own reasons. And he has gathered them. There's no way she can beat them all. Even she isn't that good. Even she knows that. But she will come. Because she has no choice. In the center, Leg chained to a pillar is Mary Jane. Spidergirl will have to come for her best friend. They will break her and in her moment of absolute weakness, he will kill her.

Harry watches his girlfriend, feeling a twinge of regret. He really did care about her. Maybe when this is all over... No, she'll never forgive him for what he's about to do. Gwen is her best friend, but he will deliver the killing blow. If only she would understand. Gwen took away his father. He had to do this. Pulling his mask on, he circles the interior of the building on his goblin glider. She'll be here soon. This ends tonight.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's a trap. Spidergirl didn't need her spidersense to tell her that. An old warehouse by the waterfront, out of the way from possible interference? Harry wanted her to find him. And MJ was the bait. But what choice did she have? Harry had already proven he was willing to kill innocents to get to Gwen. She couldn't just hope he wouldn't hurt MJ because he'd had feelings for her. And she'd never forgive herself if anything happened to MJ. She couldn't let her friend die, not like her dad. Not again.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
MJ struggles against the chain around her leg, pulling so hard that she thought she must have sprained her ankle. She had long sense given up trying to reason with Harry. Revenge had consumed him until there was nothing left of the boy she'd loved. She had to get out of here and warn Gwen. Her friend had gone toe to toe with each of the men in the building, but Gwen couldn't stand a chance against all of them at once. And it was all her fault. Gwen had told her to stay away from her superheroics, told her that it was far too dangerous. But now she'd gotten herself kidnapped and was being used against Gwen because she'd been so worried about Gwen that she'd followed her to Harry's appartment. She had only wanted to help, but now Gwen was in danger because of her. So she had to escape, to make up for her mistake before it was too late. Those kids had died because Gwen had rescued her. Now Gwen might die trying to rescue her again. She couldn't let that happen.

"Spidergirl Pizza Delivery. 20 minutes or it's free. If I can just have your signature, ma'am," a voice says from in front of MJ.

The redhead's green eyes shoot up at the sound. Spidergirl hangs upside down from a web strand, hanging in front of her. "Gwen!" The hopelessness dissipates for a moment and she can't help but smile at her personal superhero, come to rescue her against all odds. For one long moment, everything is okay again. Gwen came for her.

Spidergirl reaches out, gloved fingers outstretched for MJ's hand. The redhead holds out her hand for the red and blue costumed girl. "I told you I'd always be there for you when you need me way before I got the spider powers. That won't change."

And then it all comes crashing back down on Mary Jane. "Gwen, I'm so sorry. You have to get out of here. It's a trap. You need to..." she says in a rush.

"I know," Gwen cuts her off. "But it doesn't matter. I'm not leaving without you."

"Gwen..." MJ's fingertips brush Spidergirl's.

Kicking in screaming in her head, Gwen's spidersense makes her let go of her webline. A razor bat slices through where her back had been moments before. She twists to the side as electricity arcs past her, making her skin feel numb under the costume. A spin makes it so a metal tentacle only clips her thigh. Everything happens at once and she does her best to use her speed and agility to stay out of the way. But it's too much concentrated on her for her to dodge everything.

WHOOOMPH. The entire world shakes like she'd just been hit by a freight train. Pain rips through her shoulder, followed by a hot, wet feeling soaking into her upper costume. Her brain spinning, it takes a moment to realize what happened. Rhino. He'd charged her while she was trying to dodge the other attacks. He'd hit her fast enough and hard enough to spear her shoulder with his horn. She was bleeding from the puncture wound. First blood was theirs. This was not a good start.

Planting her feet on the charging Rhino, Gwen bites down hard to keep from screaming in pain as she pushes off of him. Landing in an undignified crouch, she sways for a moment. It's a deep cut. It hurts to move her right arm. Can't worry about it now. She webs up the puncture wound to stop the blood flow. Gotta ignore it. Gotta keep moving. Her wide eyes search the suddenly too bright warehouse. Well, at least they aren't hiding. How many of them are there? She counts four. Five with Hobgoblin circling the interior of the warhouse on his Goblin Glider. "Is this a supervillian convention? Are you guys here to sign autographs or are you all just fans in really convincing costumes? I'd be happy to judge them for the cosplay contest. I'll give it to the chubby chick in the Rhino costume. Very close rendition. But you with the pipe cleaner tentacles, you better try harder next year. That's just embarassing." She dodges the concrete fist of Sandman and a slow swipe by Rhino, but Doc Ock's tentacle slams her squarely in the chest, knocking the breath out of her and throwing her back across the floor. Owww...

"God, do you listen to yourself talk? Fighting you is always so absolutely infuriating. Because you just won't shut up." The Doctor says in irritation.

Holding her chest, hoping no ribs are broken, Gwen gives the best shrug she can. "I just like keeping you all entertained, Ocky. Where's the fun in silently beating up on each other?"

Doctor Octopus sighs, rolling his eyes behind his glasses. "If only you weren't such a bright young lady, I'd feel better about ripping you limb from limb. Oh well, in another life maybe you would have made a great lab assistant." He pauses and considers. "If you were on huge doses of Ritalin, of course."

"Awww... Thanks, Doc. I didn't know you cared. Maybe you can write a prescription for me when we're done playing." Spidergirl dodges another set of attacks, but she can barely stay out of the way. Too many directions to guard against at once. She's trying to stay light and calm, silly banter there as much to convince herself that everything is fine as it is for them. But it's hard to keep it up. She's had trouble fighting them all seperately. Together, how is she supposed to take them down? Where are subtanks when she needs them?

Just gotta use her better speed and agility to keep out of the way, to get close enough. She needs to take them down quick, one at a time. Leaping up as a tentacle smashes into the floor, she runs along the metal tube. Ock's just a normal guy behind the tentacles. If she can just hit him hard enough... She punches, but the tentacle moves out from under her feet, throwing off her aim. All the same, she boxes him in the ear hard enough to send him reeling. Just another hit to the face and... "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Her body convulses as Electro pumps elecrticity through her. Her whole body feels like it's sizzling as she falls back, fighting the desire to black out. If she does that, she's dead and so, most likely, is MJ. Can't let that happen. Can't fail again. Not this time. Gotta keep moving, even if her body is begging her to stop.

No time for anything fancy. Her normal tricks against these guys isn't going to work. She doesn't have the time or energy to fight each one to a standstill when they have her outnumbered like this. Can only go for deathblows. Gotta take each one down hard and fast. They have her beat in shear strength, but she hasn't gotten this far by being the strongest superhero. She's smart enough to take on people better than her. That's her only chance now. MJ's only chance.

Gwen laughs, looking at the Rhino through the cracked lenses of her costume. Gotta piss the big guy off. "Jeez, I feel sorry for you, Rhino. All my A-List enemies show up and then they get a D-List guy like you. Guess they couldn't get Mysterio or The Lizard to show up. So they get the big guy in the dorky rhinoceros hat. Guess they needed to fill out the team fast and you're pretty easy to find."

"GRAAAHHHH!! I'll crush you, you stupid spider! I'm stronger than any of them!" Rhino yells, charging at Gwen.

Good, that worked. Spidergirl stays in front of Rhino, using his huge body to keep out of sight of the others, making herself too hard a target for them. Just gotta get him towards the dock outside. It looked like it was in a pretty bad state of disrepair. And hey, if it worked for the Ninja Turtles, it should work for her, right? Still, would've been nice if she'd remembered how fast Rhino could be when he picked up speed. The gray behometh slams into her plowing her straight through the wooden wall and out onto the flimsy dock. Her head spins, stars blaring in her vision. Gotta focus or this plan will ger her killed. No time to get to her feet. She rolls swiftly as he starts smashing at her. Keep moving, keep low, keep him smashing the boards. With an audible groan, the small dock outside the warehouse shudders and twists. She hopes Rhinos can's swim. Leaping as hard as she can, she lands on the outer wall of the warehouse just as the dock gives out, Rhino falling through the boards, sinking like a rock. One down.

She waits a moment, but no one moves to follow her. Damn, the rest aren't stupid enough to follow her over the water where she has an advantage over pretty much all of them except for the Goblin.

MJ squeals from inside. "If you don't come back, Spidergirl, we'll just take out our anger on your little friend. I wonder how many volts she can take before she's well done..." Electro laughs.

Anger and panic well up in equal doses inside of Spidergirl as she swings back inside. "Hold on, Revolver Ocelot. I'm not going for the sad ending tonight. Let's do this."

She leaps down towards the group, trying to lead them away from MJ, but they're playing a more careful game now that she's taken out the Rhino. They had underestimated her but they don't want to do that again. The Goblin circles around them, sending a constant flurry of razor bats and pumpkin bombs her way, making her have to constantly dodge, getting burns and cuts from near misses. Electricity singes the air around her, making her hair stand on end, her skin numb whenever it's too close. Metal tentacles and sand like concrete beat and batter at her. At this rate, she'll be dead before she can get MJ out of here. She probably isn't going to win this battle. And that angers her to no end. All her hard work, all the time and effort spent trying to save people as Spidergirl, and she can't even save her best friend. The one person still in her life who means the most to her.

No. If she's going to die tonight, then fine. But she'll be damned if MJ is going with her. So just have to revise the plan. Get MJ out and hold them off. Don't worry about winning. Just save MJ. Suddenly it all falls into place. Got it.

Gwen leaps and twists, landing on the wooden pillar that MJ is attached to. "Stay down!" she yells, hand on MJ's head shoving her down as low as she can. Gwen can't dodge all of the attacks, but she does the best she can. She can't die yet, after all. Gotta get MJ out. Sandman's solid fist catches her, but Electro's bold ot electricity hits the wood, making it crackle and splinter, but not conducting through it. Hmmm... Doc Ock's tentacle, on the other hand, shatters the pillar. Good.

Gwen leaps forward, yanking the chain off of the now broken pillar. She meets MJ's emerald eyes with her cracked lenses. "Go! Run as fast as you can and don't look back!" she commands.

MJ stares in horror, realizing what Gwen is trying to do. She's sacrificing herself to save her. "No! You can't! I won't let you!" She yells, angry and scared now, tears burning her eyes. It was her fault Gwen was here. She can't let her best friend die because of her. It wasn't fair. She still needs Gwen.

Spidergirl grabs MJ's waist and bounds towards the door as fast as she can. "It's me they want. You got caught up in all this because of me. That's why I kept telling you to stay away from Spidergirl. But it's okay. It'll all be over tonight. No one's going to hurt you, MJ. I promise. I will protect you. It's not ending like with my dad. So get out of here and live. For me." She kisses MJ on the lips through her mask, a split second that feels like an eternity, Gwen trying to pass on complicated emotions where she doesn't have time for words. MJ's lips press back, quivering. And all too quickly, it's over, electricity and explosions around them again. "Bye, MJ," Gwen says with a certain finality to it.

Hands under her shoulders, Spidergirl tosses MJ in a light arc through a nearby open window. "Gwen, no!!" She cries out. But it's too late. She hits the ground outside rolling, the breath knocked from her lungs. She looks back, her heart pounding, but it's too late. Webs completely cover the window she came out, blocking her from the battle inside. "Gwen..."

Inside, Spidergirl turns to her attackers. "There. No more hostages. No more holding back. It's just me and you now. If you're going to kill me, then do it. But I'm taking out as many of you as I can with me so you don't hurt anyone else when I'm gone." The fear of failing is gone now. MJ is safe. This might be her final battle, but for once, she's already won. Even if they kill her, she saved MJ. That's a win in her book.

With that, they all come at her at once. Her speed and spidersense help, but with every hit that gets through, she slows down, allowing more hits to connect. At this rate, they'll overpower her soon. She needs to even the odds. A huge sandlike hand pounds her back like a giant hammer, driving her to her knees, covering her ripped costume with sand. She punches back at him, but her hand simply pushes through sand and gets nothing as it comes out. Too slow to dodge, electricity tears through her body again, feeling like thousands of tiny knives cutting into her muscles. She gasps for breath. The sand on her costume is smokey and glasslike from the intense heat of the electricity.

She can't hit Electro because of the electricity constantly surrounding him. Last time she beat him by spraying him with water, but he won't go near it here. Same with Sandman. So she can't bring them to the water, but she can bring them to each other. Her body shrieks at her as she forces it to move as fast as she can, muscles aching and threatening to quit on her as she ducks and dodges, moving towards the remains of the wooden pillar.

"Thanks to you putting the Kingpin in jail, I'm out of a job," Electro shouts, sending electricity crashing behind her. "And being his enforcer was a pretty cushy job. After all the crap you've put me through, watching your corpse twitching will make me feel a lot better."

"Jeez, Electro, if you want help with your resume, you could just ask," Spidergirl shoots back. Her feet touch the wooden pillar, clinging to it. "But I'm a bit busy. How about you ask Sandman?" Firing a webline, she swings towards Electro, moving as fast as she can. He can't dodge, so he ramps up the electricity to fry her when she hits him. But she hits him in the chest with the wood, the electricity ripping through the wood as she sends him flying straight back into Sandman. Sandman lets out a horrific scream as the other man slams through his chest, landing right in the center of the sand. Electricity arcs about Sandman as he shudders and shifts in agony. Then nothing. Where Sandman had been, there's now a blackened statue of glass, a statue that looks like the figure in The Scream. Inside of the blackened glass, Electro's body could be seen, trapped inside.

Her feet killing her from the electricity that had escaped past the poor conductor that was the wood. The rest of her muscles seem to be on strike, too. Her spidersense calls out, but she just can't move fast enough. Tentacles grab onto her limbs, yanking her up into the air.

"It seems we underestimated you. All that talk makes you seem like a moronic child. But you're really quite adept at improvising. That must be why you've managed to best me in our other battles. Unfortunately for you, I'm quite a bit more intelligent than the likes of Rhino, Electro, and Sandman. All hoodlums, really. As an adult, you may be a match for me, little Miss Stacy, but as it stands now, I'm ahead of you." Doctor Octopus grins. "Like I know how you managed to beat them. A mix of your agility and speed and ingenuity. Allow me to take away some of those."

One of his tentacles lets go of her wrist, travelling down to her knee. She tries to yank her leg away, but her ankle is still held tightly. She grabs her other wrist and tries to pull the tentacle away, but it's holding on too tightly. Pointing at him with her free hand, Gwen tries to shoot webs at his face. Nothing. Oh, no. When he grabbed her wrist, he must have crushed the web cartridge in her web shooter. The tentacle near her knee pulls back and with her spidersense blaring in her ears, Gwen can do nothing as it strikes her leg like a battering ram. She screams as her leg breaks, bone splintering and muscle tearing. She's never been in this kind of pain before, not even when she'd been shot. She gasps for every breath, her leg a mass of pain that swells in her mind.

"You see, I outmatch you intellectually. You're a genius, but you're still just a high school student. And now I've taken away your speed and agility. Now, you're no match for me, Miss Stacy. I'll let you have this lesson for free."

It's hard to pay attention. Her vision is blurring, the world swimming in blacks and reds. She whimpers as a razor bat sinks into her left arm, the Goblin laughing as he circles them. The pain in her arm swirls with the pain in her leg, threatening to overwhelm her. At least she got this far, right? No one could blame her for dying now. She fought her hardest.

'Gwendy, don't. You're stronger than that.'

Her dad's voice. "Daddy..." Okay, one last chance. The web cartridge is broken, but maybe her stingers still work. If this doesn't work, Ock is going to tear her apart. Pointing her wrist at him, he just laughs.

"Webbing my face isn't going to work this time, Miss Stacy. I'll just yank your limbs apart while I have web on my face. I don't need to see you to do that."

Her voice is weak and sounds like it's coming from miles away even to herself. "Yeah, but you have to be conscious for that." Thwip. The stinger shoots out, a tiny steel dart with venom mixed in. It used the same venom her body produced when she bites people, a toxic substance that paralyzes people for a while. The dart shoots right through his sunglasses, jabbing into his eye. Ock shrieks as it pierces his eye, toxin spreading through him. Tentacles let go in shock before he collapses to the floor.

Gwen falls back, trying her best not to land on her shattered leg. But with her left leg and left arm out of commission, that's easier said than done. She yells out as she lands hard, writhing on the cold floor. Her body feels broken. Even breathing hurts. She's bleeding out, she knows. And she has no webbing to staunch the blood flow now.

Cackling. Oh no. One left. And he's still at full strength. 'I'm sorry, daddy. I tried. But I don't have anything left. I did everything I could.' Out of the corner of her eye, she could swear she sees her dad watching her. Her dad, smiling at her, shaking his head. Silly old man. He always believed in her even when she didn't, even when she couldn't do it.

Harry laughs as he lands away from Gwen. He felt giddy. The spider is finally broken, shattered in front of him. He'll take his revenge. "See, dad? I did it. It's over. I'll take revenge for you. I did everything for you." She doesn't have any long range abilities left. She's immobile and weak and her webshooters are worthless. Even her stingers can't get through his body armor. He grins as he pulls out a pumpkin bomb.

Gwen tries to focus on the blurry figure that she knows is Harry. She keeps seeing her dad nearby, trying to get her to keep moving, to keep fighting. Silly daddy. Doesn't he know she's finished? He died trying to stop the Green Goblin, to save people. Now it's her turn to die at the hands of the Green Goblin's son. But daddy won't accept that, holding his hand out for her, telling her to move, to not give up. "Harry," she says weakly, through broken lips. "I know you're doing this for your dad. Because I love my dad, too. I do this -because- of my dad. For my dad. I understand. But I have more work I have to do. I promised I'd protect people. Like my dad did. If you kill me, then fine. But your dad's legacy... You can't let it continue. He killed innocent people. He hurt people, Harry. If you need revenge, then do it. But don't let that horrible legacy continue."

Harry shakes his head, trying to think clearly. "Don't listen to her, Harry. She took me away from you once. Never again. You are my heir. You are my legacy. You are the Goblin."

"Right, dad." Harry smiles wide, eyes shining. Finally. After all those years, he was finally what his father wanted. He wouldn't give that up. "Sorry, Gwen. But you took him away from me. Now I'm all he has left. I'll make the world my father wanted. I'll be his avatar."

"Harry, no..." Gwen pleads. She tutored him. She was his friend. But now...

"Apologize to my dad when you see him in hell." He reaches back to throw the pumpkin bomb.

"I'm sorry, Harry, but you're gonna have to tell him for me." Yanking the razor bat out of her arm hurts like hell and increases the blood flow tenfold. Her shoulder muscles protest as she flings it as fast as she can. It whistles through the air, ripping through the cloth of the Goblin's satchel, slicing into the pumpkin bombs held within. They all start detonating, ripping through the Goblin, tearing apart her friend in the searing heat and force of the explosion.

Gwen falls back on the wood floor, staring at the roof. She can't quite make it out. She's bleeding out, she knows. Her body is giving up. But she stopped them. Even Harry. She feels bad about that. He was her friend and it was his dad's fault he'd ended up like this. But she did everything she could. Maybe those kids he killed could rest in peace now. Maybe she'd ask them soon. She smiles weakly as the roof starts to disappear, replaced with a bright light. It's over.

"Why is it over, Gwendy?" Captain George Stacy crouches near his daughter, looking down at her.

"Dad... I'm so tired, dad. All the fighting. All the failing. So many people keep getting hurt and I'm not good enough to save them all. No matter how hard I try..."

"Oh, Gwendy. That isn't true. Do you know how proud I am of you?" George smiles down at his daughter. "You can't save everyone. But you've saved so many. You've made the world a better place because you're there. I just wish you'd quit blaming yourself."

"But I wasn't fast enough to save you. It's my fault. When I fail, people die," she argues, the warehouse fading away around them. "I just want it to be over. I want to be with you again. I miss you."

"I miss you, too, Gwendy." He strokes her blonde hair. "But you know you'll see me again. And you didn't fail me. You did your best. No one can ask anymore of you. You need to stop beating yourself up over that stuff."

"But Jeanne..."

"You did everything you could for her. You didn't know what was going on. Listen, Gwen. You can't give up. I know you're stronger than that. You focus so much on when you fail, people die. But when you succeed, people live. You saved Mary Jane tonight. You saved as many of those kids as you could. The world still needs you."

"But daddy..."

"Shush, kiddo. I'll always be here waiting for you. But it's not your time yet. You're a fighter. Don't give up," George whispers as everything fades to white.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"It's in here!" MJ calls, running towards the warehouse.

"Wait up! Hey, stay away from there!" The cop yells as he follows the girl that had called them. If it was as dangerous as she said, she needed to stay away from it all. But the redhead bursts into the warehouse with the cop just steps behind her. Silence. "Oh, God..." Detective Fisher looks around at the aftermath of the chaos that surrounds him. It looks like a small war zone.

"Here she is!" MJ shouts, kneeling next to a beaten and bloody Spidergirl. Her costume is blackened and burnt and torn in places. Blood is pooled uner her from a major cut in her arm. Her leg is bent at an odd angle. She stares down at Gwen, eyes burning, her vision blurring. Gwen... She shouldn't have left her here alone like this. Her breath catches as she sees Gwen's chest move, ever so slightly. Alive. She's still alive.

Detective Shephard kneels next to Spidergirl, calling in for an ambulance and backup before putting his walkie talkie back up. "She fought them all off to save you? She helped us out a bunch, too. She always seemed like she wanted to help the cops. She was always showing up to talk to Captain DeWolfe." He slowly pulls her mask off to check her breathing. He looks at her curiously for a long moment. His eyes go wide as it hits him. "That's Captain Stacy's kid. I worked with him for years. So that's why..."

"Wait, you can't..." MJ grabs his arm. "She was only trying to help!"

Detective Shephard smiles, shaking his head. "Kid, Captain Stacy was a great guy. We all loved him. If his daughter was running around trying to help us out like this, I'm not gonna let her get hurt over it. I'll make something up. I won't screw up her identity over this."

MJ lets out a breath, relaxing. "Thank you."

"Now help me stop the bleeding. She's lost a lot of blood and she's not out of the woods yet."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mary Jane has passed in and out, sitting in Gwen's hospital room. Gwen has yet to regain consciousness, but MJ refuses to leave her side. Gwen saved her and she has no intention of leaving her best friend alone again. An officer stationed at the door of the room watches over them, just in case.

The surgery was a success, but the doctors were still up in the air about whether or not she'd make it. Her body had taken a lot of punishment and the blood loss had been severe. But MJ just smiled and told them that Gwen would make it through the night. Because MJ knew something they didn't know. Gwen was Spidergirl. And MJ knew she was strong enough to make it through this. Not because of her spider powers, but because in all her life, MJ had never seen Gwen give up. This wouldn't stop her. Because she still needed Gwen.

Taking Gwen's hand, MJ squeezes it tightly. "Come on, Gwen. I'm right here."

Something heavy thumps against the window. THe door opens, the cop coming in to investigate. MJ looks up just as what looks like a huge snake moves about in the darkness outside the window. It strikes, shattering the glass and driving the cop back hard against the wall with a crack. He slumps to the floor, unconscious, his gun spinning across the floor.

MJ's mouth goes dry, her emerald eyes wide as she watches Dr. Octopus climb in through the window. His glasses are gone, one of his eyes wrapped in bandages. He smiles like a predator finally having caught it's prey. "Ah, Miss Watson. I see you're attending to our Miss Stacy. I'm sorry for the trouble we've put you through, but if you'll please stand back so I can kill your friend, I'd appreciate it."

MJ stands inbetween the man and her injured friend. She's not a superhero, but she can't let him hurt Gwen. "No! Don't hurt her! Haven't you already done enough? Just get out of here! She won't go after you!" Her heart feels like it's going to explode in her chest. She's probably going to die standing up to a madman.

"I'm afraid this isn't about her stopping me again, Miss Watson." A tentacle grabs her by the blouse and tosses her against the wall hard enough to daze her for a moment. "This is good, old fashioned revenge. She stopped me from reaching greatness because she was too scared of me risking a few thousand lives in my quest to make a perpetual energy machine. And now she's even taken my eye." He grin widens. "So I guess I should pluck out your pretty little eyes in return, shouldn't I, Miss Stacy?" With a casual nod of his head towards MJ, his tentacles start wrapping around the comatose Gwen. "You're free to watch as I murder your friend, Miss Watson. Or you can leave. I bear you no ill will. You were just a tool to get to her."

No. No no no no no no no.... It isn't fair. Gwen had saved her. MJ had found a cop and gone back for her. She was going to recover. But now Gwen was too weak to fight and there was no one else to stop Doctor Octopus. And it was all MJ's fault. She runs her hands through her red hair, kneeling on the ground. All her fault. Gwen always saved her, over and over again. But all she could do was stand here and watch as Gwen died. Gwen was a hero. She was just... human. Only human. No. Gwen had always stood up for her as a kid, even before she had powers. It wasn't about super powers. It was about doing everything you could for the people you love. No matter what.

A glint out of the corner of her eye even as Doctor Octopus starts squeezing Gwen's body, one pincer reaching for Gwen's closed eyes. The cop's gun. If she moved, he might see her, might kill her. And that scared her. But she wasn't going to be a pawn anymore. It was her turn to save Gwen.

MJ moves as fast as she can, grabbing the pistol. She stands up, pointing at the crazed Doctor. She only has one chance. If she misses, he'll kill her instantly. But if she waits, it'll be too late for Gwen.

"It was a pleasure, Miss Stacy. But I'm afraid now we part ways," Doctor Octopus says jovially, tentacles tightening.

BAM!

The smell of gunpowder fills the room. After what seems like an eternity, Doctor Otto Octavius collapses like a ragdoll onto the floor, having been shot in the head. Gwen falls back to the bed.

MJ drops the gun, hurrying to Gwen's side, slamming the call button, clinging tightly to the blonde, afraid to let her go again. "I did it. I did it. It'll be okay, Gwen. I promise. I'll protect you, too."

::Friday, April 11th, 2008::
5:53 pm
Catch you when you fall

Dad came through town today, so we had lunch and talked for a while. Which meant I only got four hours of sleep since I went to sleep late. ^^;; But everybody keeps asking me what I'm doing with my life. Where I'm going from here. What I'm doing next. And everybody I know seems to have these big plans. Jason's moving off to Japan. Other classmates have these intricate plans for the future. But the only thing I want is to not end up living alone. I'm not too concerned about what kind of job I get or where my career is going even though I have no clue what to do about any of that. I just don't want to be alone. I want to share a place with someone I can talk to, someone who cares about me. I want to have someone to come home to. But I don't even know how to do that. Everyone is so far away. *sighs* It would be so much nicer if I were a more independent person.



Current Mood: lonely
::Monday, April 7th, 2008::
11:30 am
Butterfly in the sky, I can go twice as high
I graduate in a month and a half barring I make any hugely stupid mistakes. Though I could probably stop going to my classes and pass most of them. I'd do poorly, of course, but I only need a D, so it wouldn't be too hard. I'm graduating so soon and yet I feel like I don't have a future. Not one that matters, anyway. Most of the people I know have already moved on or are going to be moving on this summer. I have no one left in Tucson to stick around for. Most of the people I know online have drifted. I've got like three people I'm talking to on a consistent basis and one of them is leaving soon and another has a hard time opening up to me. 

I just feel so useless and unimportant. Like I'm an NPC or a background character, here to fill up space. The most likely outcome right now is that I end up getting a job in a small town around here with my BA (because I know I could probably get a job there), get a small appartment, and end up even more alone than I am now. Then I can go to work, come home to an empty appartment, go to sleep, go to work, come home... That's the scariest thing. I don't want to be alone. I can't handle being alone. And yet there seem so few people left who care what happens to me. And I don't know what to do about it all. I just want to know I matter. That I'm needed. But I just feel so superfluous. Like I'm going to disappear and no one will even notice. Everyone's so busy with everything else, everyone has so many more important things to deal with. I wonder how many days before work would send someone down to that crappy, lonely appartment to find me.

Current Mood: depressed
::Friday, March 21st, 2008::
4:18 pm
My internet connection has been going out every night around 10, and since I'm nocturnal, I'm internetless for the main period of time I'm usually online. ^^;; And since I'm a shut in, that sucks hard. O_o So I've been writing more, at least. ^^ Which makes me happy. I really need to work on an actual story again soon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Why could she never have a peaceful day at the mall? Other girls got to have peaceful days at the mall. It wasn’t fair. Her half finished Chinese food was all over the place, sent flying when the cybernetic tail of a girl in a greed combat costume had crashed into the table she’d been at. She’d barely managed to get away long enough to get into costume. And her stomach was still rumbling. “You better have enough money on your costume to pay for a new meal when we’re all done. Because I’m taking it as payback. You do have pockets on that thing, right?” Swipe. Spidergirl ducks low to the floor, the tail passing over her. Gwen reaches out, shooting webbing at the green suited figure. With speed and agility matching her own, the figure leaps out of the way, landing on a wall, clinging to the wall, upside down. Her tail continues to whip around.

 

The girl looks at Spidergirl through her goggles. “You! You’re me! I’m you, too! The others, they’re us, too. All of us. We’re all waiting. All of us. Except you. You should be with us. If you’re you, then I’m not you. Then I can be someone else. I can be… I can be…” She trails off, holding her head, trying to think clearly, trying to remember.

 

“Someone forgot to take their crazy pills today.” Spidergirl ducks the tail, climbing along the roof towards the other girl. “Hey, listen, lady. You can be whoever you want to be. I’ve got friends who want to be the entire cast of Lord of the Rings. So how about you stop causing the property damage and we’ll head down to a nice pen and paper game shop and you can pretend to be the coolest wizard you can think of?”

 

The girl leaps into Gwen, knocking her off the roof, sending them both sprawling into the fountain below. Her tail pushes Gwen hard against the floor of the fountain, the green clad girl pinning her. “They’re coming. They’ll be here any minute. I keep hearing your thoughts. Your memories. Daddy… Peter…. All of it.”

 

Spidergirl coughs up water, staring up at the girl, her head spinning. Who the hell was this? How did she know about Peter? “Who are you?”

 

“Designation: GS3. Codename: Scorpion.” The girl reaches up, pulling off her goggles and mask. Blonde hair falls about her face. A face that looks exactly like Gwen’s.

 

Gwen stares up in shock at her mirror image. She reaches up, touching her twin’s cheek. “That… uhh… explains the spider powers since you’re kind of… me.” Buthow? She didn’t have any siblings. What was going on here?

 

Both their spider senses scream at the same time. Scorpion looks up. “They found me. She shoves Gwen as far away as she can, getting Spidergirl out of the way as soon as the flashbang goes off near them. Dazed, Scorpion is hit by a hail of taser shots, followed by a capture net. SHIELD troopers fastrope down from the roof, quickly subduing the green clad version of Gwen.

 

“Wait! Where the hell are you taking her? What’s going on here? Why does she look just like me?” Spidergirl looks from SHIELD operative to SHIELD operative, but they all ignore her as they move to contain the situation. “Oh, right, let’s all play deaf and pretend we don’t hear the crazy girl in the spider costume.” Still nothing. She grabs the headphone of one of the passing operatives, tugging it off. “Good news, Private Guy Smiley. You just got deputized. You are now Spidergirl’s Chief of Explaining. It’s like the Chief of Engineering but instead of fix stuff while the captain yells at you, you explain why the hell girls with my powers and my face are running around the mall. There may or may not be yelling depending on how much I like your answer.”

 

The operative stares at the smaller girl like a deer caught in headlights. He was specially trained for containing all manner of dangerous situations. Two tours in the armed forces and extensive SHIELD training and yet he can’t think for the life of him of what he’s supposed to do. He tries to keep ignoring her, the official SHIELD answer to most civilian inquiries, but she’s fast and stays directly in front of him, fingers pinching his ear so he can’t even look away. He stares back at those huge white eyes of her costume. His mouth opens, but no words come. He’s not supposed to say anything. But somehow, she doesn’t seem like she’d take that for an answer. The team as a whole was qualified to take Spidergirl down if need be, but he hadn’t been authorized to do so yet.

 

“Can you let my boys get back to work, Gwen? I’ll be happy to explain everything if you’ll get out of everyone’s way,” a commanding voice says with just a hint of amusement.

 

Spidergirl  tenses up at the use of her real name while in superhero guise. Looking up, she spots the source of the voice, a tall, bald handsome black man with an eyepatch. “General Nick Fury. What’s going on? Was that supposed to be my twin or something? Or have you guys at SHIELD finally lost it and started cloning people? Haven’t you read like any science fiction in the past ten years? Cloning is bad news.” She pokes the taller man in the chest, looking up at him. “Where’s my mom? She’s your Chief Researcher for the Department of Crazy Science Playing God, right?”

 

Nick nods his head, indicating behind Gwen. “As a matter of fact, Dr. Drew is currently placating Scorpion and getting ready to take her back home.”

 

Turning to see, Dr. Jessica Drew is, indeed, with Scorpion. The older woman has her hands on the blonde girl’s shoulders, rubbing them gently, speaking soothingly to the younger girl as if she were her actual daughter. This just makes Gwen angrier. Like it wasn’t bad enough that her mother had walked out on her the first time, now she was playing mother to clones of her? “Why me? Why not someone like Jean Grey?”

 

A quick shrug before Nick takes a seat in the food court, motioning for Gwen to do the same. “Well, for one thing, we still don’t know if the Phoenix is just Jean’s true potential or if she really is a god. And even at Jean’s non-Phoenix power levels, she’s too strong for us to keep under control for any significant period of time. It’d be like playing with fire while taking a nice long oil bath. Now as for why we picked you, that’s a little more interesting. When your mom was Spiderwoman, she was one of the heavy hitters out there in the metahuman world. Your mom was one of the founding members of the Avengers. She fought side by side with people like Wonderwoman and Thor  and helped keep this world safe from stuff you aren’t even classified to hear about.And ever since she lost her powers, she’s been in charge of the Super Soldier Program. We’ve been trying to reliably create a super soldier since we made Captain America back in the 40s, but it never seems to work.”

 

Sitting across the table, Spidergirl crosses her arms. “Maybe God doesn’t want us playing in his territory. Maybe we aren’t supposed to be forcing evolution or making ourselves better than we are. Every single time someone tries, it seems like it ironically collapses around them. Norman wanted to be the next great step and his goblin formula just drove him completely insane. Dr. Octavius ended up getting his metal arms fused to his spine. Dr. Connors wanted his arm back and he became a big creepy lizard. Need I go on?”

 

Nick shakes his head, leaning back in his chair. “Regardless of the reasons, we hadn’t made any real headway in the Super Soldier Project for all these years. Until you. Your mother had been chosen to be Spiderwoman by some weird totemic stuff I don’t completely understand. But it changed her body. So when she made the Spider Serum, it would work in conjunction with her body chemistry to return her spider powers, albeit in a somewhat altered form. It worked on you because you’re the daughter of Spiderwoman. She was Spiderwoman when she was pregnant with you. So you have that same kind of body chemistry as she does.”

 

“Great. So you can’t weaponize the spider serum. That actually does make me feel better. So that’s why you cloned me? To have an army of girls with spider powers?”

 

“No, it’s not that simple. We actually tried to get around the fact that only you and your mother can use the spider serum. It was your mom’s idea. She created a…. symbiote is what she called it. Basically a genetic suit. It had all your powers and abilities. You wear the suit, you get to use the spiderpowers inherent in the suit. It’s that simple,” Nick explains. The science behind it was complicated enough to give him a headache just thinking about some of the files Jessica had sent him on the subject, but that was the basics.

 

Eyes narrow under Gwen’s costume. “So you made a living costume to give people spiderpowers?”

 

“Well, to let them use spiderpowers, since they’re part of the suit. But yes. The problem was that we used your genetics to create the suit. We never cloned you. But we created the symbiote based off of your information. And then we started having problems when we bonded it to people. It began overwriting the genetics of anyone it bonded to. Our first test subject was a 28 year old special forces operative working for SHIELD. He’s now the spitting image of you. Has most of your memories. Barely remembers his wife and kid. Remembers your first kiss, though.”

Spidergirl stands up, hands on the table. “WHAT?! That… that girl I just fought was a guy with a family that you people turned into a… a copy of me? What the hell is wrong with you people?” She gestures towards where Scorpion had been. “You have to turn him back!”

 

“It doesn’t work that way, kid. The symbiote overwrites people completely into copies of you.” An ironic, pained grin crosses his bearded face. “We found a cure for cancer and any kind of disease you can think of. The only problem is that it turns every person it bonds to into a replica of you.”

 

“So get rid of it! Stop using it! Why the hell would you want copies of me anyway?!”

 

“Calm down, kid. Look, you’re going to have a heart attack if you don’t learn to deal with the fastballs life throws your way better. Ask your mom sometime about when she found out what was behind Dr. Strange’s Door of Magado. Sometimes you peak behind the façade the world has built up and you find out the world is so far from what you thought it was that it’s not even funny.” He waits a moment for Spidergirl to sit down again before continuing. “We’ve been following your career as Spidergirl since you started. And I have to admit, Gwen, we’ve been very impressed. Not only do you have the current version of the Super Soldier Serum in you, but you yourself bring a lot more to the job than we thought. You’re smart, which helps out a lot. And you refuse to give up and die, which means a lot from all I’d seen in special forces. While our analysts have pegged you as a fairly capable hero, which means a lot in a world filled with guys like Batman and Wolverine running around, you’re still a kid with not nearly enough experience.” He raises an eyebrow and pushes forward before Gwen can argue.” But that’s the thing, you’ve routinely managed to best guys that our analysts flat out said you could not handle. You somehow manage to come out on top against people who are more powerful than you are, with years more experience.” The general grins. “You’ve managed to shock our analysts quite a few times, and these guys have played the game long enough to yawn in boredom when I tell them what Magneto had for breakfast that morning. They hadn’t been this shocked since they found out that Cassandra Cain running around as Batgirl isn’t a metahuman. You think quickly and you aren’t afraid to risk everything in your battle plans.”

 

Blink blink. “Umm… Thanks?” It was nice to know someone thought she was doing a good job. “So if you guys just want me to take over for Captain America or whatever, why are you cloning me? Or copying me, rather.”

 

“Because you’re going to die before you’re 21,” Fury says matter-of-factly.

 

Gwen feels a cold shudder as she stares across the table at a man who just told her she was going to die in just a few years. It felt like someone was trampling on her grave. “How do you know that? You have some kind of time machine now, too? Because if so, I demand to have a ride. And it is a Delorean, right?” In times of stress, she has always fallen back on humor. It let her try to defuse the situation and to try to convince herself that everything was fine.

 

“We’ve put together your psych profile and all of your battle data and everything the analysts have put together on you. You keep throwing yourself up against people who are stronger and faster and better skilled than you. While I’m thoroughly impressed with your abilities, you only get lucky so often. You have a deathwish. You blame yourself for not being able to save your dad or your boyfriend. Oh, and that Detective DeWolf. So you keep throwing yourself at impossible odds to pay for whatever sins, real or imagined, you think you need to pay for and the odds we’ve worked out say you’re gonna die before you’re 21st birthday. I have people taking bets that you’ll buy it by the time you’re 19.”

 

Spidergirl crosses her arms, looking away. She couldn’t entirely deny it. She kept fighting so hard because it was her fault her dad and Peter were dead. She was alive and they weren’t. So she had to do anything she could to help the people who were still here, even if it killed her. She’d already barely survived a handful of times. How many more times till it killed her?

 

“I can’t count on you still being alive to join the Avengers when you’re older. Because you’ll probably get yourself killed fighting against impossible odds to save someone. I’ve seen two Delta Force guys do the exact same thing with a downed helicopter pilot against hundreds and hundreds of hostiles. It’s a noble way to go, but it means I can’t count on you to fulfill your role as the newest super soldier. So we’re putting together a small unit of spidergirls like Scorpion. We’re training them in covert operations and having them work alongside other metahumans so that they  be the best superheroes they can be. We’re not dropping the suit on anyone unwillingly. We only have three people in the unit right now and they were all volunteers, one of whom was crippled before he used the suit and became one of the spidergirls.”

 

“But… It’s wrong. It was an accident that I ended up like this. You shouldn’t be using copies of me for something this important.” Gwen looks up with her large white spider eyes of her mask. “You don’t understand, Fury. Just because I survived didn’t mean I was better than your analysts thought. I still always fail. I couldn’t save dad or Peter or Detective DeWolf. Everyone I love dies and it’s my fault. Copies of me won’t be able to save anyone either.”

 

General Fury stands up, resting a hand on Gwen’s shoulder, squeezing tightly. “God doesn’t play dice with the universe, kid. Einstein said that. It wasn’t an accident you got your powers. And you’re blinding yourself with the times you couldn’t save them. But guess what I’ve learned in this line of work. You can’t save ‘em all. Because you aren’t the big guy. You’re human and fallible like the rest of us. You’ll never be fast enough or strong enough or smart enough to save every last one of them. But I’ve watched your career and I’ve seen all the good you’ve done, all the lives that you DID save. And I know there are a whole lot of lives out there that owe it to you that they’re still kicking. Don’t let the one’s you couldn’t save make you forget about all the one’s you did.” Fury slips his hands in his pockets, walking towards his waiting team. “Keep fighting the good fight, kid.”

 

Gwen watches him go quietly.

::Thursday, March 20th, 2008::
4:41 pm

I've been kind of frustrated with the naive black and white super hero morality running rampant through the DC universe, so I've been working on a lot of scenes dealing with that. Good guys are never, ever allowed to kill, even when it's a horrible, puppy raping, serial killer like the Joker. O_o It's just messed up. I am trying to at least provide a counterpoint to the argument because it helps me understand it better if I come at it from both sides.

And yeah, the few people who read comics are going to be very confused about the makeup of this team, since the weird little world I'm playing around with is a mix of DC, Marvel, Ultimate Marvel and a bunch of other things (The Batman cartoon where Barbara was best friends with Poison Ivy, X-Men Evolution, etc. etc.) all rolled up into what's most fun to me. ^^;; So it's Oracle/Barbara Gordon running a school/team. So kind of a mix between the X-Men, Birds of Prey and Teen Titans. 

~~~~~~~~~~

 Spidergirl drops from above, landing near the young team of heroes. Kitty Pryde, the current Robin the Girl Wonder, smiles and waves to the new arrival standing, as always, at Cassandra Cain, the current Batgirl's side. "Okay, so what's the operation, Oracle?" Gwen asks their seemingly all knowing operations commander over the comlink.

A long pause. "We're going after the Reaper. He's... a supervillian killer..." Her voice is strained, knowing what's coming next.

Large white costume eyes would blink if they could. "A supervillian killer. We're going to use our collective man hours busting our asses to take down a guy who kills supervillians. That way you can rub your specific brand of justice in his face. So he can go to jail for his horrible deeds. Do I have that about right?"

Oracle sighs heavily on her end, rubbing the bridge of her nose underneath her glasses. She had known this would happen. Gwen didn't really follow The Superhero's Code as written by the Batman. "Yes, but..."

"No, that's cool. Anyone else you want us to spend our time on? Is there perhaps a rapist killer out there or possible a killer of child molesters that we could spend out time pummeling with our moral superiority from atop our high horse? Because if there is, I am so totally there." Spidergirl punches her fist into her hand, seemingly not noticing the glare she's getting from Batgirl.

"Yes, but these people should be jailed, not killed," Barbara argues.

"What? So they can sit in jail waisting taxpayer dollars till they either get executed anyway or until they escape and kill more people? Hell no. And if you're going to argue rehabilitation, that's what we've got Jean Grey for. To monkey with people's heads and make them into better people. I protect innocents, Oracle. Not the people who hurt the innocents. They're on their own." Thwip. Her web hits the side of the building. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find Fancy Dan and the Enforcers because they're out of jail again somehow and Fancy Dan has the most awesome name of any of my villians. Even if he totally sucks."

Oracle presses harder. "Right, and what if you showed up and saw Fancy Dan nailed to a wall? Not all of your villians deserve to die. That should be up to the courts to decide."

"Oh, right, because the courts always make the right decision." Spidergirl's voice lowers. "Is that why Joker keeps getting sent to insane asylums instead of getting the chair? Screw that. Fancy Dan is just going to have to put up with the possibility as a potential downside of the job. I'm not going to fight someone who kills supervillians just so you can sleep better at night, Babs. But I also wouldn't let Joker get away either. If I ever fight him for you, I'm not leaving him for the police. He hurt you too bad for that."

"This isn't about revenge!" Oracle's voice is harsher than she meant it to be, but she can't help it. She still had nightmares. "MJ is the current Green Goblin. What if someone killed her? Then what? I'm not saying some supervillians don't deserve to die, Gwen. I absolutely agree that some of them will and should get capital punishment. But only if they deserve it and after they've had their day in court. My best friend is a supervillian. I don't want Poison Ivy getting killed by some antihero who thinks murder is the only answer."

Spidergirl shudders angrily at having MJ thrown in her face. She looks over at Kitty. "C'mon. Let's get out of here and actually fight the bad guys tonight."

Kitty chews on her lip, looking over to Batgirl and back at Spidergirl. Her mentor and her friend. She shakes her head, not able to meet Spidergirl's eyes. "I'm sorry. I've gotta help."

"Fine!! But if I see him, I'm not telling you guys anything. And I sure as hell won't stop him." She pulls out her communications link to Oracle, tossing it to the floor before leaping off.

Oracle sighs, catching her breath. "Okay, we're doing this without her, then. Everyone has their orders."



Current Mood: creative
::Tuesday, March 18th, 2008::
3:09 am
Spectacular Spidergirl

Yeah, I haven't written in here nearly enough lately. ^^;; Last semester of university before I get my BA in Psychology (minor in Sociology) and then I need to decide what I'm doing with my life. Yay. I am officially scared out of my mind. ^^

So I've finally watched an episode or two of the new Spectacular Spiderman cartoon and I love the nerdy version of Gwen Stacy in it. ^^ She's at least as smart as Peter, if not more so, which is just awesome. I like her almost as much as the Gwen Stacy from Spiderman Loves Mary Jane. Watching it really made me want to write more of the Gwen Stacy as Spidergirl story I keep talking about. I have tons of backstory for it, but I'm lazy so I haven't written it down yet. So I ended up writing a quick scene based partially on the first episode of Spectacular Spiderman.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Teenage student genius Gwendolyn Elizabeth Stacy sighs for what had to have been the tenth time in as many minutes. "I think I should really just head home. Today sucked, MJ. I just want to lie in bed and read until I pass out."

Mary Jane grabs Gwen's wrist, tugging her friend through the store, not letting her run off. "That's you're problem, Gwen. You keep trying to escape into fantasy. That's why everybody thinks you're such a geek. If you just started acting normally, I'm sure they'd all like you. You need to embrace life."

"'Choose life, Snake,'" Gwen intones in a mock British accent.

MJ's eyes immediately narrow. "Can you stop being a dork for five seconds? This is exactly what I'm talking about."

Gwen shrugs, looking about the clothing store. "You might be okay with pretending to be what everyone wants you to be, MJ, but I just can't do it. It's not worth pasting on a smile and acting 'normal' just so Bitch Queen Liz Allen will share her lip gloss with me. No thank you."

"Fine. But you still need to get your mind off things. How about these?" MJ holds up a lavender, lacy thong, grinning. 

Gwen prods at the skimpy material, tilting her head to the side. "How, exactly, do skimpy panties take my mind off things?"

"Well, you know, if you end up fooling around with Peter. I'm sure he'd love to have you wiggle around in these for him," MJ teases.

"Peter? He's like my little brother, though. Besides, I feel guilty enough for his aunt letting me sleep in their basement. The last thing I need to do is scar him for life by sleeping with him." Gwen looks around the lingerie shop. Why is there nothing relatively normal for her to turn her attention to in here?

MJ sighs, thwapping Gwen on the head. "Stop thinking about anyone getting with you being a horrible thing for them. Plenty of people would love to be with you. Even nerdy Peter Parker. Besides, you two are both major geeks. I never have any idea what you two are talking about when you're around each other."

Gwen blinks. "And this means I should buy a lavender thong and sit on his face? How, exactly? We're really good friends. I don't want to ruin that because you think I need to get laid to get my mind off of how crazy my life has been lately. Besides, I wanna see my dad again, but the last thing I need is him crawling out of his grave just so he can bust down into the basement to stare unapprovingly at his baby girl trying to jiggle around sexily in something that barely classifies as underwear."

Sticking her tongue out, MJ places her hands on her hips. "And you wonder why you're a virgin."

Gwen smirks as she starts walking out of the store. "Never said I was a virgin, MJ."

The redhead blinks before catching up with Gwen. "What? You never told me anything! Who? When? Why don't I know about this? You do know that chat rooms, LARPing, and MMORPGs don't count, right?"

Laughing, the blonde adjusts her glasses. She stares up at a dot moving in the air above. "Sorry, MJ, but I've gotta run."

Rolling her eyes, MJ crosses her arms. "Right, right. Go do your hero thing. But I'm calling tonight to figure out what you're talking about."

Gwen just waves as she ducks off down an alley.

Moments later, Spidergirl is webbing through the air, bounding off buildings to get higher and higher. After a crazy day where she'd forgotten all her homework (or rather, to do any of it, since she'd been running around as Spidergirl the night before) and almost getting punched by Liz in the girl's bathroom when Liz had demanded Gwen stay away from Mary Jane, Gwen was just happy to be leaving that crazy world beneath her. Of course, she was entering a crazier world, but at least this one was more exciting.

Spidergirl finally manages to catch up with the flying figure she had seen earlier, an old man in some kind of flying harness, clutching onto someone. She looks over at him as she swings along beside him. "So where are we going?" she asks casually. It took Gwen a moment at the speed they were going to get a good look at the man. "Norman?" Norman Osborn was a friend of her father's for as far back as she could remember. She tutored his son, Harry, regularly.

The old man glares over at her. "Stay out of this! It doesn't concern you! This is between the Vulture and Norman Osborn!"

"Yeah, well, I'm the type of girl who likes to crash parties she's not invited to. I guess mommy didn't hug me enough as a child." The red and blue clad girl tosses herself up and to the side, using her momentum to land squarely on Vulture's back, sending them all downward. Webbing a passing building, she clings on tight, sending them in an arc from over the open streets to right above a building. Gwen jumps backwards off the birdman landing on the ledge of the roof, shooting a web forward of the out of control Vulture. Crashes into the web, slowing. The sudden deceleration maked him drop Norman, who runs towards Spidergirl. Vulture gets up and turns, Spidergirl leaping between the two men. "You've gotta get through me if you want Nor... Mr. Osborn." The Vulture stares at her oddly for a long moment, wondering how she knows the name of some businessman. "I... umm... read the business section. A lot. I've got stocks all over the place. That's how I afford the Spider Cave and my mansion on an offshore oil rig."

Vulture shakes his head angrily. "You don't understand! I invented the technology for this flying harness and OsCorp has stolen it! I came in and showed them my designs. They shot me down. And now they're going into production with the technology! -My- technology! He laughed me out of his boardroom, telling me I'd never be able to prove it was mine. I can't let him get away with that! This is my life's work! This is all I have left! The one thing I can pass on!"

"Wow... Harsh, Norman," Spidergirl's eyes narrow, turning to stare at the businessman. She was disappointed in him, but somehow unsurprised. She had always loved her 'Uncle' Norman, but she knew he could be a real hardass at work.

Norman spreads his arms wide. "Listen, Spidergirl, I have no idea what he's talking about. His technology was junk. We thanked him for his plans and then developed our own."

"Uh huh." Her tone is unimpressed. "Normie, I know what you're thinking. Here's this girl who leeps around like a wild monkey, who wears an absolutely awesome costume... Thanks by the way! It took me forever to design, and my friend keeps going 'But what the hell kind of spider is red and blue?' and I keep having to explain it's the feel of the colors, you know? Right? But she never gets it." Silence. She coughs into her fist. "Anyway, so you think 'This girl spends most of her time upside down! -And- she throws herself up against psychos who could easily kill her! She must be stupid!'. And then you try to toss off some really dumb excuse like that at me." She points at the Vulture. "The dude is wearing a flying harness. It works, very well. You cannot tell me he didn't develop the thing."

Norman harumphs, adjusting his tie. The girl, annoying as she is, was right. Even if his team of lawyers could easily bury old man Toomes in legal paperwork so that he'd never see a dime for his invention, he couldn't exactly dispute the current situation with the costumed girl.

"So pay the man for his invention and apologize and we'll all go home," Spidergirl says simply.

"No. I do not apologize. I am not going to hurt Oscorp's integrity by publicly admitting theft of a product," Norman exclaims, crossing his arms.

"Hmm... Okay then." Spidergirl fires off a webline. She salutes the Vulture. "He's all yours, buddy. Don't have too much fun, 'kay?"

Norman's eyes go wide as he takes a half step forward. "Wait, you're leaving me?! You're a superhero! You can't leave me with him! He'll kill me!"

Spidergirl tilts her head to the side. "Why do people keep saying stuff like that? Is there some superhero license that no one told me about? Or some rulebook that got lost in the mail? Because I never got it. Listen, Normie, I'm a girl in a costume dressed up like a red and blue spider. I run around the city and get into fights with all sorts of superpowered and nonsuperpowered clowns. Where in that does it sound like I'm your bodyguard? I protect INNOCENT people from sociopaths. Where are you at all innocent in this? I save you and you totally screw this guy over. I'm doing this Spidergirl thing for my own reasons. I'm not following any dumb code but my own. I'm not going to save you so you can laugh and screw over a guy with relatively reasonable demands. So... I'll see you two later." She waves, ready to swing off the building.

Norman is panicking. This can't be happening. This is totally not going the way it's supposed to. Supervillian attacked him. Superhero saved him. Superhero leaves him to the mercies of the supervillian? What? "Wait, Spidergirl! I'll pay you. You're fighting for nothing now. But I'll pay you a small fortune for this. Just stop Vulture."

Spidergirl pauses, turning her head. "What?" A long pause. So he wasn't doing this because he was a tightwad and didn't want to pay Vulture? No, that couldn't be it. It would probably cost way more to pay Vulture than to pay her to do this. That had to be why he'd offer. She nods towards Vulture. "I want you to pay me as much as he demanded you pay him. And I want every cent of it in cash."

Norman grins. "Done."

Spidergirl shakes her hands rapidly in front of her. "Hey, wait, no no no! That doesn't strike you as ironic? You're losing the same exact amount of money. Only I get it instead of him. Why can't you just give him the damn money and publicly apologize?"

Vulture stares at the two, still trying to figure out if they're going to fight or not. Staying in this battle pose is starting to make him sore.

"It's the principle of the thing! I refuse to give this winged psychopath a red cent!" Norman spits out.

"And that doesn't sound just a touch insane to you?" Spidergirl sighs, hands behind her head. "Okay, then. If I kick his ass and I save you, I'm giving every single dime you give me to him. So you'll pay me and I will then immediately hand it to the poor guy I beat up. And he will have all the money he asked for in the first place."

Vulture blinks, now very confused. He can't quite tell whose side SPidergirl is on. She's offering to give him all the money that she would be getting paid to stop him? Wow...

Norman opens and closes his mouth several times. "I... but..."

Spidergirl crosses her arms. "Yeah, I'll walk up to him, hit him a few times, hopefully he'll be up for playing along and he'll lie on the floor and stop going after you. You will give me the money and then I will immediately hand it directly to him. Right in front of you. You will be paying him through me. Or you can stop being such a dick and just give him his damn money and the credit for developing his super secret flying machine."

Covering his face with his hands, Norman breaths deeply. Stupid god damn superhero not acting like a damn superhero. If this were Daredevil or Captain America, he'd be home by now without having to spend a single dime. Stupid brat. He knew he didn't like Spidergirl. He'd make her pay for interfering. This technology was for the Goblin Glider Oscorp was developing and she was ruining it! "Gaaaah! Fine, fine, I'll give him his damn money! Are you happy?!"

"Oh. Yes. Very." Vulture is still slightly in shock. He actually wasn't expecting this. And without a knockdown, drag out fight, either. He looks at Spidergirl. "Umm.. Thank you, young lady."

The costumed girl waves him off. "Anytime. Sorry about leaping at you earlier. Might wanna take some advil for your back. I really need to stop jumping into these things without finding out what's going on. Sometimes the bad guy isn't the guy in the funky metal birdsuit." She glares pointedly at her surrogate uncle. She was happy to have Norman honoring his end of the bargain, but she wished she didn't have to twist his arm to do it.



Current Mood: creative
::Monday, December 24th, 2007::
5:50 am
All I want for Christmas is you

Dr. Jessica Drew sits in her appartment, alone, on Christmas Eve. She has a small half assembled fake Christmas tree on her living room table, as well as a mostly empty bottle of wine. She sips at her glass again, swishing the burning feling in her mouth. Her old Spiderwoman costume sits on her lap, her fingers tracing over the red and yellow fabric. "Great job, Jess. All of your hard work has paid off. You get to be all alone at Christmas." She sighs heavily, setting down her empty glass, her glasses halfway down her nose, eyes burning wetly. She wipes at the tears stubbornly. It was her own fault, she knew. She'd had family Christmases before, little Gwen running around the tree excitedly, shaking presents, Arthur watching with a grin. She was Spiderwoman back then and she'd had a family at Christmas. Her family. But when she'd lost her powers, when they were taken from her, she'd chosen between trying to find a way to regain her powers or her family. She had made her decision. And for the past eight years, she had focussed single mindedly on developing a super soldier serum for SHIELD that would return her powers. And for her selfish desire to be special, she had lost the things that had been the most special to her. Her exhusband was dead. Her daughter, her one and only daughter, hated her for abandoning her family. Gwen glared at her whenever they met, would yank away from any affectionate touch or embrace Jessica would try to give, would tell her what a horrible mother she was, that she had made her choice and Gwen would not let her come back. You can never go home again.

Rudolph The Rednosed Reindeer plays on tv. Jessica slumps on her couch in her big, empty, lonely appartment, clinging to the costume she used to wear when she would play hero, when the world loved her, when she had been special. "Stupid reindeer. You hate it now, but if you lost that nose of yours, you would do anything to get it back. Even making a deal with the devil. And then you'd be all alone, too." What price for greatness? She'd succeeded, hadn't she? She'd finally found out how to make a super soldier serum that would return her old spider powers, or, rather, a variation thereof. She even had the serum hanging around her neck in a small vial, a constant reminder of what she had been, of what she could still be. But she couldn't give herself to take the serum. Because of the price she had paid. The terrible price she had been too blinded to see. She'd given up the man who loved her and the little girl she adored. How could she become Spiderwoman again when the price had been abandoning her own daughter? So she had infected Gwen with the sample of the serum. It would only work properly on herself or her daughter because Jessica had previously had the powers. So she had given them to her daughter instead, hoping that maybe she could repay her daughter for running away by making her more than human, by making her little girl special, super, an angel. That she could show Gwen how much she had loved, -needed- being Spiderwoman. That maybe Gwen would understand and forgive her. But she hadn't. Maybe her daughter had taken too much after her husband, a workaholic detective. Just like Arthur, Gwen had to save -everyone-. Her daughter beat herself up over every single person she couldn't save. For Jessica, she had learned that when she acted, she could save people. For Gwen, she had learned that when she didn't act, people died. And this difference weighed heavily on the new Spidergirl. And so Jessica had only managed to fuck up her daughter's life even more. Now Gwen saw herself as responsible for all the deaths in her life. Always thinking if she was only a little faster, a little smarter, a little stronger, that she could save everyone. And she hated her mother even more for her 'gift', for putting her in that position.

She used to be super strong. She'd pick Gwen up when her little girl would fall asleep under the Christmas tree, looking up at all the pretty lights. She would sometimes take her little girl on trips with her, webslinging through the concrete canyons of New York, and her babygirl would giggle excitedly, clinging in mommy's arms. Gwen had loved her mom, the superhero. When she'd lost being a hero, Jessica had lost herself. She'd made the mistake of thinking she was only special, only important as Spiderwoman. But Gwen just wanted her mommy. And mommy ran away. And now mommy was lying in her nicely furnished, rarely slept in appartment getting drunk on wine and crying in front of a shitty fake Christmas tree with no one to blame but herself. Jessica curls up, hugging her Spiderwoman costume tightly to her chest, as if it could somehow save her from all this. 

Now she was toying around with clones of her daughter because she was deathly afraid that her little girl would never forgive her. She was playing God in a desperate attempt to get her daughter back, even if it was another version of her daughter. Is this why God had created mankind? Was he lonely, too? Was he lying in his appartment right now, drunk and crying because he, too, was unloved by his children?

She'd made a stupid decision. She'd chosen Spiderwoman over her own daughter, and now she was paying for it. But she understood that now. It was why she still couldn't get herself to take the sample of the serum hanging around her neck. She wanted to make things better, but how could she when her daughter couldn't even stand being near her? How could she fix things if Gwen hated her? Was it too late to make it up to her little girl?

Jessica sits up swiftly. What was that sound? She'd lost her spider sense long ago, but she'd been a super hero long enough to get good at picking up things that were out of the ordinary. Dr. Jessica Drew. walks wobbily over to the window, watching the snow fall softly outside. Cold air blows in when she opens the window, making her shiver. On the windowsill, she sees a small wrapped present, webbed to the sill to keep it from falling in the wind. She looks up swiftly, looking all over for the unseen visitor. There! She can barely spot a red and blue clad figure climbing up the wall above her floor. "Gwen!!" The figure pauses for a moment before starting her upward climb again. "Gwen, please, don't go..." She reaches up, her daughter so far out of reach, watching Spidergirl fire off a webline to another building to swing off. It wasn't fair. She had thought the world needed Spiderwoman, that -she- herself needed Spiderwoman, but what she really needed was a daughter that she had discarded for some stupid costume. And now her daughter was leaving her, an ironic turn. Hadn't Gwen cried when she said she needed to leave? Hadn't little Gwen begged her to stay when she'd ran out the door? And she'd left anyway. Maybe you did get what you deserved on Christmas.

Spidergirl pulls the webline taut. And let's go of it. Firing another at the ledge above her, Gwen lowers herself head first slowly until she's dangling in front of her mother and the open window. They stare at each other for a long moment, blue green eyes meeting large, white costume eyes. "Hey..." Gwen gets out at last.

Tears starting to roll down her cheeks, Jessica smiles shakily. "You're gonna catch cold out there, sweetie. Please come in. Please?" She reaches out slowly, grabbing the mask. Gwen flinches but doesn't pull away as Jessica pulls the mask down and off, looking into her daughter's eyes.

Gwen looks away, out across the city, at anything but her mother's tear soaked eyes. "I should really go. I'm sure there are people who need me out there."

"-I- need you," Jessica insists, her voice choked. "I'll make you cocoa. You can help me finish my tree. We can watch all of those silly Christmas specials you used to love..." she pleads, desperate, her mind looking for anything that might make her daughter stay. She clutches Gwen's mask in her hands like a lifeline, afraid that if she lets go, her daughter will leave her to her well deserved empty fate.

Gwen closes her eyes for a long moment, swaying slightly on her slender strand of webbing. She could easily leave. Hell, she -should- leave after what her mom put her through. But... She drops onto the window sill, slipping inside. "Well, nobody should be alone at Christmas."

Jessica practically pounces on Gwen, pulling her daughter close in trembling arms, burying her face into Gwen's hair, holding her tightly. "Merry Christmas, sweetheart."

Gwen rubs her mom's back. "Merry Christmas, mom."

::Tuesday, December 4th, 2007::
12:36 am
It's Raining Sunshine, It's Raining Sunshine

Dear Emily,

Why have I even bothered getting online lately? Every single time I do, I get more bad news or something goes freakishly wrong or something. And yet, here I am, getting on dutifully day after day. Is it out of habit? Do I not learn lessons well? Am I just one of those people who needs chaos in her life?

I sent someone a present for Christmas costing several hundred dollars (which, on a college student's budget, is a lot of money, I assure you) and now because someone didn't want to be outdone, they're going to invalidate my gift by giving the same gift, but better. So my gift is going to end up in the trash. I know I should just be happy for the person I sent it to, but I spent so much time and money on getting this together. I wanted to be part of what made their Christmas great. And now my gift is goign to get tossed aside because someone wants to outdo me. My dad does this crap -all- the time, too, and I've always hated it.

And as far as fetishes none of you needed to know about, I definitely lean towards submissive. Yeah, collar and leash, slavegirl kind of submissive. The problem being that, for some reason, everyone wants me to be dominant for them. I keep running into submissive people who try to make me into something I'm not because they want someone to boss them around so badly that they don't give a shit about what I want. This has been even worse ever since I joined some transformation groups online (another fetish you didn't know I had =P ). I've had at least four different people contact me on messenger wanting me to roleplay. They all want me to transform them (and in some cases, much, much worse where I actually feel a little nauseated). Because for some reason, I guess the only people who message me are submissive transformation fetishists. And everyone wants me to satisfy their wants and be something for them, but no one cares about what I want. I made the mistake of playing what one of them wanted, and now whenever he sees me, he wants me to do it again. I'm tired of people being selfish bastards and demanding things from me with nothing in return. They don't care what I want or how I feel as long as I can provide for them what they want. One of them even told me to shut up and get down to the transforming when I tried to explain how my mood differed from theirs. O_o There's no compromise to them. There's no trying to make sure we both get something we want. It's simply about satisfying their own needs and wants. I'm just so sick of people trying to use me to fulfill that crap. Damn selfish transformation fetishists. -_-

And then the one person who does seem to care about me, who does understand me, can only come out for one whole day. Yeah, my second (third technically) online romance and since we live in different states, we haven't met yet. So, naturally, I've been looking forward to when we finally could. I came up with a bunch of plans back in May, but they all fell through. And now that she finally can come out, it's for such an incredibly limited amount of time. And I'm just really depressed about that, because I wanted to spend as much time as I could with her as possible. I wanted us to be able to do all sorts of things. And now I have to cram as much into a day and a half or two depending on when the flight back and flight in is. I just wanted this so badly. I know I should just be happy that we'll finally meet at all, but I really wanted to have more time together. Now I'm uber stressed about making what time we do have meaningful, so that means cutting out all the stupid stuff like cuddling and watching Scrubs or Never Been Kissed. I mean, how else do you find time to fit in the pony play? O_o I'm joking about that. You hope.

Why can't anything work out? I'm just depressed about it all. I don't know what to do and I can't seem to fix anything. *sighs*
 

 

Current Mood: depressed
::Monday, December 3rd, 2007::
2:40 am
Short intro

Spidergirl and the current Robin, Kitty Pryde, stand back to back in the middle of the oppulant penthouse, surrounded by members of the ninja group known as The Hand. "I really appreciate you coming along, Kitty."

Kirry raises an eyebrow, holding onto a bo staff. "Apparently ass kickings -and- misery love company, huh? These are not good odds."

"Just think of it like Foot Soldiers. The Ninja Turtles -always- beat vast hordes of Foot Soldiers," Gwen responds, the ninjas reflecting in the eyes of her mask.

Kitty sighs. "All right. But I'm Donatello."

"No, I'm Donatello. I'm the smart one," Gwen counters.

"The hell you are. I am. You can be Leonardo."

"Will you two shut up!?" Elektra shouts at last, leading the charge at the two girls. 



Current Mood: depressed
::Sunday, December 2nd, 2007::
9:42 pm
A Christmas Story

"Gah... I suck at this." Mary Jane sighs as she looks at the shoddily wrapped present in front of her, the mess of wrapping paper held together by a huge amount of tape.

Gwen laughs, raising an eyebrow behind her glasses, smoothly wrapping a bow on a neatly wrapped gift. "I thought you were good with your hands, MJ."

The redhead sticks her tongue out. "I don't spend my free time putting together Star Destroyer models. Dexterity isn't my strong point."

"You're just jealous that you don't have the Imperial Fleet hanging over your bed," Gwen replies, moving on to the next gift to wrap.

"Gwen, can't you be a normal girl for five seconds?" MJ pleads.

The blonde looks up, grinning. "I'll have you know that Peter finds me very attractive when we're making out under a scale model of the Death Star. That thing is better than mistletoe. Planet destroying mistletoe."

Peter blushes, using scissors to cut off some festive paper form the large roll. "I am not commenting on that one way or the other."

Gwen looks back at MJ, shrugging. "He's still mad I beat him in our last Star Wars vs. Star Trek argument."

"You didn't beat me," Peter retorts. "You managed to slip past my defenses. I just needed time to regroup. And that acceleration scene you pointed to with the Millinium Falcon could be misleading."

MJ rests her head in her hands, sighing melodramatically. "Could you two possibly be bigger geeks?"

The blonde looks back at her boyfriend, smirking. "Obviously, The Life and Times of Santa Claus had the best Santa origin of the Rankin Bass specials."

"I posit that Santa Claus is Coming to Town was, in fact, the definitive Santa origin," Peter argues, pushing his glasses up his nose. 

"That was all the fever dreams of a sociopathic mailman!" Gwen counters.

"And you're telling me Santa having two moms, one of which was a lioness, is better?"

"Absolutely! How can you argue against a Santa origin story written by the author of the Wizard of Oz?"

MJ groans louder, prompting her two companions to burst into giggles. "Why did I agree to come along again? I should've accepted Liz's offer to head to that Christmas party."

"Liz just wants to get you drunk on eggnog so she can make out with you," Gwen states, finishing another present. "It's Christmas. Besides, isn't it better getting gifts ready for needy kids at a children's hospital than drunken lesbian makeout sessions at Flash Thompson's house?"

MJ tilts her head to the side thoughtfully. "Hmmm... I don't know. I hear Liz is a good kisser..."

Gwen's eyes narrow. "Har har. Liz Allen's giant crush on you aside, I really do appreciate you to coming. I've been doing this for years with my dad. He saw a lot of people get hurt as a detective, so he always wanted to do something for people during the holidays." The blonde grabs the cross hanging around her neck, a gift from her father when she was little, stroking it. "This is my first Christmas without him. It just seems wrong not to do it. I know he's watching all this and smiling."

"He's smiling about MJ making out with Liz?" Peter asks, gaining him an elbow from MJ in the side. "Owwww...." Gwen just giggles.

A woman enters the room filled with volunteers, knocking on the door frame to get everyone's attention. Gwen perks up, leaning over. "That's my dad's old partner, Jeanne DeWolfe. She's awesome. I've known her for years. If I ever end up a cop, I want to be just like her."

"Sorry, everyone, but the storm's getting worse and there's just no way we can get everything to the hospital." Jeanne shakes her head. "It's just one of those things that happen. But thanks for all of your help and hard work."

"That just sucks," MJ says, turning to Gwen. Gwen's seat is empty. The redhead looks around the room wildly. "She's gone..."

Peter sighs, leaning back in his chair. "Not again."

"Detective DeWolfe, I'll get the presents there," a figure says, hanging from the roof. Spidergirl, reaches out, a webline snagging someone's Santa hat. She slips it on her head as she hops down to the floor below. "My sleigh's in the shop, but Rudolph's waiting for me on the roof."

"Is that right?" Jeanne grins and nods at the costumed girl. "Okay, you got it, Spidergirl." She gathers the gifts into a large bag, holding it out to the much shorter hero. "Don't freeze to death out there. Those kids need some good news."

Spidergirl hops to the window, throwing a quick salute. "You know me. 'It's raining sunshine,' she sings as she swings off.

MJ slumps her head on her arms. "There goes my ride home. I don't want to walk through this."

"Your ride? We were heading back to her house after this." Peter grabs his backpack.

MJ Grins, looking over at Peter. "For more Death Star makeout sessions? Does she make your roleplay that it's Varder torturing Leia? Or more a Luke and Leia thing?"

His cheeks reddening, Peter fidgets with his glasses. "And you said we were the geeky ones."

MJ's tone changes, her smile dropping. "Seriously, though, Peter. If you break her heart, I'll hurt you."

Peter blinks, a bit thrown off. "What? Geez. I didn't know you were so protective of her."

MJ rests her chin in her hands, smiling. "I've known her way longer than you have, so I have seniority. She's been there for me when no one else has. She's important to me. And she's been through way more than she should have what with her mom running out on her and her dad being killed and the whole Spidergirl thing. You make her happy. Don't do anything to ruin that, or you'll have to deal with me," she says as sweetly as possible.

Peter nods, glasses slipping down his nose. "You know me. I aim to please. I'll do whatever I can for her. I love her."

MJ gets up, grabbing her bag. "Then that's good. And Merry Christmas, Peter."

As the two exit, they look up, seeing the Santa hat wearing Spidergirl, bag slung over her shoulder, swinging off through the snow towards the children's hospital.



Current Mood: creative
::Tuesday, October 16th, 2007::
10:01 pm
Calling to the Night
Okay, it's been over a year since I've posted anything, so everyone probably thinks I'm dead. ^^;: Of course, you might still think I'm dead and that I'm just a zombie now. Which is entirely possible. It would explain my craving for brains. O_o Anyway, I've been wanting to start writing again, but I didn't want to do a 23 chapter story because those are just a little hard to commit to right now (spent all of last night writing a Chinese History paper and midterms last week and all). So I've wanted to ease into my writing by just writing whatever I wanted to. This included an Ultimate Spidergirl series I've been working on in my head (and with my girlfriend) for the longest time now. Basically, think the Ultimate Spiderman reimagining of Spiderman, but with a geeky teenage Gwen Stacy getting bitten by the spider. MJ as her best friend since they were kids, but now MJ's ignoring her in school because she's popular and doesn't want to be seen with geeky Gwen,s o they have to be 'secret' friends. Meeting Peter Parker, living alone with her dad, and trying to deal with her spider powers. Of course, Gwen Stacy has always been a tragic character, so I still plan for plenty of that. Her dad's like fated to die in just about every universe, so that's not good for her at all. ^^;; So lots of fun, messed up angsty stuff. 

I also planned on doing something similar with Jean Grey. Because, aside from Kitty Pryde, Jean is my favorite X-Man evar. Are we noticing a trend with tragic comic heroines who get offed pretty frequently? ^^;; Anyway, for Jean, I had in mind that when she was ten, her best friend, Annie Malcom, got hit by a car. Just like in the normal series. But rather than just her powers activating and Jean feeling her friend die, Jean clings to Annie's soul, not letting it go. So the God of Life and Death, Shiva, the Phoenix, investigates this little girl clinging to one of the souls she's taken. Jean pleads with the Phoenix not to take away her best friend. The Phoenix agrees, but only if Jean becomes her avatar. Jean accepts and is brought back. Unfortunately, Annie's body is a mess after the car crash. So Jean ends up having to place Annie's soul inside of her pet dog's body. Jean tries to explain to Annie's family that Annie's still alive in the dog, but since only Jean can hear her thoughts and talk to her, everyone thinks Jean's losing it. Jean only gets worse from there, developing a split personality with her imaginary friend who calls herself Madelyne Pryor and has no impulse control. With all this on top of her growing psionic powers, Jean's family panics and sends her away to a mental institute where she languishes for several years before being pulled out to go to a school for gifted youngsters (not exactly the X-Men. It has a mix of different characters from different series). Jean is a quick learner and ends up growing very close to her teacher, Storm. The story I wrote today during Psych of Consciousness (rather than paying attention like a good girl) takes place during a story arc I've been planning that is loosely based off of season two of the Ultimates.

Oh, and I've been playing some of Portal, which is fun and mindbendy. ^^ Because rampant AI forcing you to play through puzzles with a portal gun with only the promise of cake at the end is awesome. ^^ And Eternal Sonata is great because history books totally forgot to tell us that as Chopin was dying, he helped rescue a magical world. ^-^ And Persona 3 where you can spend most of your time running around high school hitting on the geeky girl or helping a little girl deal with her parents divorcing rather than fighting. ^^ And Folklore and....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's so hard to think. She feels like she's at the bottom of the ocean, her thoughts and actions slowed by the weight of the frosty depths. For a girl who's power comes from her mind, this stupor is intolerable. She's an honor student, for God's sake, not to mention the world's strongest telepath.

The redhead moves another pawn on the chessboard. "Your turn," she says aloud in the empty room. Nothing. "Come on, Maddie. Please..." Jean pleads. Still nothing. The heavy dose of meds in her system was blocking out Madelyne from Jean's mind.

Jean sighs in frustration, getting up to walk around her large plastic cell again. Anything to keep herself from sitting in one place and stagnating. It felt as if her eyes had been plucked from their sockets, like she was suddenly stricken blind. Balling her fists, she screams into the empty cell, her voice sounding strange and foreign to her ears.

A laugh picks up where her scream leaves off. For a moment, Jean thinks it might be herself laughing. Or, better yet, she hopes, her twin sister. Of course, she'd spent long enough talking to herself in that God forsaken sanitarium, so why not? She had promised herself she would never again end up like that. So what went so freakishly wrong?

A dark haired girl is sitting on the bed in the corner of the circular room, grinning. It appeared she was the source of the laughter, despite the fact that there was no apparent way for her to have gotten in. "Lenneth!" Jean whirls about to face the other girl.

"Poor little Jeanie. All alone now, aren't you? Not even the voices in your head to keep you company," she teases the redhead.

"That's certainly debatable. You're here, after all," Jean counters. And, sure enough, the guards watching the monitors of Jean's cell only see her talking to herself.

A smile from the dark haired girl. "Oh, I'm not in your head, Jeanie. Though everyone does think you're crazy, don't they? Just like old times. Poor, crazy Jeanie." She stands up and twirls about, her arms spread. "The girl who talks to herself and dreams of fire. How often do you ask yourself if they're right? If you are just insane? If Maddie and Phoenix and Annie are all just projections of a scared little girl who never recovered from her best friend getting hit by a car?" She sticks her tongue out playfully as Jean tenses. "Everyone in the world just thinks you're an Omega Level mutant with MPD that's too dangerous to let out of her cage to see the light of day." She looks around the cell. "Just like your first trip to the loony bin, huh, Jeanie? Bawling your little eyes out while mommy and daddy and big sister Sarah try not to look back at you while they all pile into the family car. Leaving you all alone. It's happening all over again, you know. I don't see your precious Storm or your bestest friend forever, Annie, here. Where's Bobbi? Scott? Anyone? Just like always, you end up all alone. Your new family ditched you as soon as you seemed crazy, just like your old one."

"SHUT UP!!" Jean screams, hurtling the chess board across the room at Lenneth. It goes right through her, colliding against the wall, pieces flying everywhere. Lenneth only laughs. "I'm being held in the deepest, darkest cell SHIELD could find. They probably don't know where I am. I bet they're trying to find a way to get me out right now."

Lenneth  waves off Jean's arguments. "You keep telling yourself that, Jeanie." She grins mischievously. "How does it feel having your children turn against you, Phoenix? How does it feel knowing your precious humans hate and fear you? That they're so grateful for your gifts that they lock you away? You give them powers and they abuse them. Those without hate those with your gifts. Starbellied Sneetches and non-starbellied Sneetches." She tilts her head to the side. "Your children don't believe in you anymore. They don't want you. They don't love you. You're dead to them and they want to keep you that way."

Jean shakes her, fingers ruffling through her unruly hair. This was all so confusing, but deep down it made some kind of weird sense. "That's not true. They're just confused and scared. They're trying to protect themselves. That have so much potential."

Laughing, Lenneth folds her hands in prayer. "'Forgive them, Father. They know not what they do', eh, Jeanie? It's funny how history repeats itself. How often will you keep coming to earth only to have your sons and daughters abandon you and kill you? How dense are you? End this cycle and start over. I don't understand why it's taking you so long to get tired of this."

"They'll grow. And they'll keep growing," Jean argues. Her green eyes narrow, sudden realization hitting her. "You were my Judas. You got them to throw me in here. You convinced them to set an execution date." She doesn't know how she knows this, but she knows it to be true.

Giggling, the dark haired girl smiles. "But it was so easy, Jeanie! Humans are such terribly predictable creatures. So hateful. So afraid. You push the right buttons and they go running. 'Oh, big, powerful security guys, don't you know how dangerous Phoenix can be? How unstable Jean is? How many people she's hurt? She'll destroy you if left unchecked. She'll tear your tiny country apart and take away everything you love'. They're paranoid to begin with. You give them something to fear and that leads to anger. And they will rip it apart like hungry dogs to fresh meat."

Jean slumps to her knees. "I just want to help people. I just want to make people happy. For them to like me."

Lenneth stares pointedly at Jean. "They don't want your help, Jeanie. Your children don't want you anymore." She yawns into her hand. "But, honestly, I'm tiring of this game. You've let this cycle go on too long, paying attention to your stupid, selfhish, hateful children instead of me. Shiva, if you aren't going to end this cycle and dance it into oblivion and come back with me, I'll end it for you."

Her stomach suddenly feels as if it were made of ice. "What do you mean?" Her voice sounds incredibly tiny even in her own ears.

The smile of a large, predatory cat graces Lenneth's lips. "I'm going to kill them all, silly. I've pushed them on a course of self-destruction. They'll all kill themselves shortly and I'll take you back with me. Maybe eventually you'll stop this whole cycle of life and death and just stay with me, Jeanie. You shouldn't run away from me. I understand you better than any of these horrible creatures. I'm the only one who will always be behind you." With that, the dark haired girl disappears as abruptly as she came, not even leaving behind a Cheshire Cat smile.

It takes Jean a moment to get her mind moving fast enough to shake off the confusion of this odd encounter. But that leaves only panic. She has to hurry! If she's trapped in here, she can't stop whatever Lenneth is trying to do. People will die. Everyone will die. "Let me out!!" the redhead screams at the top of her lungs. "You have to let me out! I have to stop Lenneth I have to warn everyone!" A security camera slowly moves to follow her. She stands on her tiptoes, yelling into the camera. "Everyone's in danger! You have to believe me! Everyone will die!!" A moments pause. The sound of vents opening. Gas starts to pour into the room to sedate the prisoner. "No!!" Jean pounds fruitlessly on the door to the room. She's ten years old again, strapped to a bed and being injected full of drugs because everyone's afraid of her abilities. She feels just like a powerless child again. Her struggles grow weaker and weaker as she starts to cry, sliding against the wall. God is powerless, locked up in a room because everyone thinks she's crazy while the Devil has come to play. The Devil's greatest trick was convincing everyone she didn't exist...

 

Current Mood: creative
::Sunday, June 25th, 2006::
10:44 pm
Elegy
This is actually based off of something I played around with years ago, so don't expect it to make a whole lot of sense, especially if you're trying to fit it in with anything current.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The night was dark and humid. The hot, thick air made the scarlet costume cling irritatingly to her body, almost accusingly. 'You don't deserve to wear this. You're no hero. You don't have what it takes.'

Leaping to the next rooftop, she tried to ignore the alternating waves of hate and self-pity that crashed through her heart. For a moment, she considered ripping off the costume, letting the tattered remains fall to the street below. 'Spiderman's taken everything from you now, hasn't he? Your father, your life, Peter. And now Ben. All of them gone because of a spider.' But that wasn't true, was it? Ben had died a hero. He'd saved her. And gotten himself killed in the process. Her eyes burned behind the mask; tears blurring her vision even after she'd thought she had no more tears to cry.

Crouching on the rooftop, she closed her eyes tightly, wishing she could rip the pain from her heart. But if she did that, wouldn't she lose everything that still mattered to her? "Why did you have to get yourself killed, you idiot? Don't you know I need you?" she asked into the night. And what about Mary Jane and the baby? How could Peter and Ben die now? "You should've let me die..." Her grip on the ledge underneath her tightened till pain shot through her joints. Even then, she didn't let go. "It doesn't matter if I'm dead. I've been dead before. People needed you, you idiots." She shouldn't have saved Mary Jane. She should've made Peter do it. Maybe if she'd been the one to help Ben... Then what? Then she'd be dead, too. But Peter would still be alive. And she'd be with Ben, at least. Instead of this purgatory. No life. No one to remember her. No one to love her. She was a ghost.

The leap she took was only to keep herself moving, an explosion of frustration that sent her falling in a swan dive towards the streets below. It was oddly reminiscent of her first death. Would it be ironic to die this way? Or would it be fitting? The lights of the traffic below were almost blinding, lights zipping by underneath her even as she picked up speed, the hot air whipping past her body.

And then she was swinging from a web. She couldn't recall firing the webslinger at all. She laughed softly. "Still looking out for me, Peter?" Throwing herself into the swing, she continued moving just above the traffic below, getting glances from a public still wary from the battle that killed both Spidermen a short time ago.

She felt like a fake in his costume, even if Ben had discarded the identity, had never even cared for it. It was just a makeshift costume after all, made because Ben could never escape the responsibility he felt. He was the real hero, not whatever costume he was wearing. She had worn it because it had been his, because it was her way of getting to understand that aspect of him better. But now she felt like she was desecrating his memory by wearing it. Who was she to play hero? She didn't have his experience. She felt like a little girl playing dress up.

'You're just going to get yourself killed,' the voice inside of herself whispered. 'But maybe that's what you want. Poor little Gwen Stacy. Maybe you've always had a death wish.' She tried to shake off the thought, but it lingered, a bad taste in her mouth.

'I saved Mary Jane and the baby,' she tried to argue.

'While two real heroes died to save everyone else,' the voice countered.

Gwen swung along in silence for a long time after that, gaining momentum and making blind leaps.

'Why did they die?' she wondered. 'For me. For Mary Jane. For the baby. For everyone else on that bridge. They gave their lives for us. So why am I so angry with them for leaving me?' Ben was like her. They had lost their previous lives because of the obsession of Miles Warren. But together, it felt like they could build something new. Something better to make up for all they'd lost. But now, Gwen was very much alone in a frightening world where she was supposed to be dead. Was she angry with them for leaving her or angry with herself for not being dead?

She didn't deserve the costume. SHe wasn't a hero. She'd let the man she loved die. 'It wasn't my fault!' a part of herself cried out. She wanted to beg for forgiveness, but there was no one to hear her. She was a nonentity. Wearing the costume was just laughing in the face of the memory of the two men who had worn it before her. Spiderman was dead.

So what next? There was no life for her here. Was it time for her own exile? Leave the costume at Ben's grave and walk off into the night? Hope that she could forget who she was along the way? Run away again?

It all happened in slow motion. The screeching of tires ripped her from her dark musings. A car up ahead had been sideswiped. It lurched sickly, sliding to a halt. A car scraped alongside it, another barely missing it as it sat in front of traffic. Smoke began pouring out from under the hood, dark and angry. A woman spilled out of the driver's seat, scrabbling to the back door. She yanked on the handle, trying to open the slightly misshapen door. Other cars veered dangerously close to the woman and the vehicle. The smoke began to pour into the car itself.

Gwen let go of the webline. Her momentum carried her forward, landing roughly on her feet. Pushing the woman aside, she grabbed at the door. The car had been impacted there, mashing the door in. A small figure moved inside through the darkening smoke.

"Stay still," Gwen called into the vehicle before smashing in the window. Stray chunks of glass slashed through her gloves, slicing into her hands. Leaning through the window, the smoke immediately obscured her vision, making it difficult to breath. She reached out, trying to find the figure. Her spider-sense went off just before a truck slammed into the cars bumper, sending it spinning once again. She adhered to the side of the car as it spun, the figure in the car screaming from the sudden impact. Gwen reached for the source of the screaming, her eyes and lungs burning from the acrid smoke. Pulling the child's form close, she pushed away from the car. Fresh air burst back into her lungs as she tried to catch her barings, the headlights of cars flying past at dizzying speeds. Holding the young girl against her side, Gwen grabbed ahold of the girl's mother. Steeling herself, she leapt up, using a web to swing them to the sidewalk.

The woman pulled her daughter into her arms, holding onto the little girl in the deathgrip of a woman who had come too close to losing something dear. "Thank you, Spiderman," she said gratefully, her eyes staring into Gwen's. "If it weren't for you..."

Gwen was speechless for a long moment. The woman was crying, shaking from the thought of how close she'd come to losing her daughter. "I..." Her throat ached from the effort of talking. "No need to thank your friendly neighborhood Spiderman," she got out at last before her throat seized up. Firing off a web, she swung away as the paramedics were arriving.

That was why the world needed a Spiderman. That was why Ben had died saving her. Maybe she wasn't as experienced as he had been. Maybe she would die trying. But damnit, she wasn't about to let him die in vain. If she could make a difference, then it maybe that was why she wasn't dead. Maybe it was okay to be alive. Just maybe...

Current Mood: creative
::Saturday, June 3rd, 2006::
8:40 pm
Frosty the Snowman says 'Happy Birthday'!
Dear Emily,
Tomorrow's my 23rd birthday. I'm kind of horrified by this. O_o I feel old. ^^;; Or like I should at least be doing something worthwhile with my life. Painting the face of God or carrying orphans out of zombie crocodile infested waters or something. Or at least becoming an infamous jewel thief in Venezuela. Instead, I feel like I'm just lost and drifting. Oh well. At least we should be going out for pizza. ^^

Heather

Current Mood: confused
::Thursday, May 25th, 2006::
6:34 am
Distorted reflections
Dear Emily,
Do you ever take a look at yourself and find yourself shocked by what you see? Do you ever wish you could reach into the pond, ripple the water and make that go away? I hate realizing what a freak I am. I hate when it suddenly hits me that no matter how hard I try, I'll never be anything remotely approaching normal. I hate knowing there there will always be something wrong with me, that there's no group that I really feel I belong to. 'Now that I've arrived here, they tell me welcome home'. But it never feels like home. I never feel like who I am is okay. Oh well. It doesn't help that I haven't been sleeping much lately and I keep having these vivid, bizarre dreams when I do. Maybe someday I'll figure it out.

Heather

Current Mood: depressed